Journey of Life - Ellen's blog

New Website for Ellen5e

2009-05-30T15:04:00.002-04:00

There is a new website for me that is finally up!! You can follow me now on the website Ellen5e.com.

WHAT IT WAS VS. WHAT IT IS

2009-05-22T11:48:00.006-04:00

I have had quite a few brand new friends who I have met via newmedia and on the internet who have never heard me talk before the "ATTACK" so when they hear me speaking on the recent video clips they do not think anything about my heavy weird accent.

ASIDE: By the way the votes for "What kind of accent do you think it is?" is leaning very heavily toward French and Swedish/Norwegian. One good friend has accused me of being a Russian spy. And one of my 4H dog club kids thinks I sound British like Victoria Stillwell of dog training fame.

BEFORE To help those people who have never heard my "regular talking voice" here is a clip of me conducting an interview of an intercity ministry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JQjncoi9jc You will notice some hesitation in my speech as I am thinking of the questions off the cuff, but even a very untrained ear can tell I do not sound like the same person.

AFTER Now... compare this to my most recent little clip from last night
http://www.tokbox.com/vm/b6ae3opqguin

You hear a very noticeable difference don't you??
Friends, students and family are helping me to laugh about it, because if I don't stay light-hearted enough it will make me want to cry.

THIS IS NOT ME!!
My regular voice is gone! Instead I am having to hear these weird accents coming out of my mouth. STILL, I am extremely thankful to have any voice at all. Can you imagine it?

I have had friends call me on the phone, and then just about hang up as they say "I'm sorry, I have gotten the wrong number." I go into a quick "wait a minute! it is me, Ellen, don't hang up!" Then I must give them some kind of fact that a stranger wouldn't know, to convince them it is ME!! It IS me!!

It has now been a week and a half since the first numbness showed up, and almost as long that I have been speaking with a foreign accent. I sometimes get a bit down about the situation. No doctor has an answer about what is going on -- we just don't see any obvious signs of stroke or any bad tumor or anything on CT or MRI.

The speech therapist I saw on Wednesday was thinking maybe Bells Palsy, but some of the symptoms do not jive. I have just started finding something called "Foreign Accent Syndrome" mentioned on the web. So I will continue to research as I await my neurologist appt. on the 29th.

I praise God that He never gives us more than we can handle. I am being forced to
(1) speak funny OR (2) shut-up. Those of you who know my passion for communication (talking with people and about the Gospel) know which option of those two that I am taking.

Here are some things running through my head a lot lately:
"Be still -- and KNOW -- that I AM GOD!" --
We are fearfully and wonderfully made; tho' this is scarey it IS facinating!
I must laugh because if I take it too seriously I will cry.
How much faith do I really have?
I choose to believe that God IS in control of even this.

What do you think about this? I REALLY want to know.
I am seeking any advice, ideas or answers anyone might have.

STRENGTH FROM THE STRUGGLE

2009-05-19T16:52:00.020-04:00

I am now back from the hospital and am continuing to have speech problems.

Rather than write everything down... I went to Tokbox and created 4 little video mails that explains everything up to now.

I hope you will watch these so you can view how difficult it is to speak, how very different I sound right now, and because I think God is using this trial to teach many people how God uses the weak and unusual things of this world, if we let Him.

Just click on the red links to view the videos:

What Is Going On? Part 1

What Is Going On? Part 2

What Is Going On? Part 3

What Is Going On? Part 4

Now that you have seen these clips you can rejoice with me someday, when God reveals how he using this trial for His glory.

LEARNING A LOT DURING THIS TIME:

1) God IS in control, therefore this is happening for a reason, AND not only for my benefit, but for the benefit of others, and ultimately His glory.

2) This speech problem may be God's 2x4 across my head - way of getting my attention about being extra careful when choosing words and speaking.

3) A test for vanity: if I am so concerned about how I am sounding when I speak that I get so hung up on how I sound to the other person, then I would not speak at all for prideful fear of looking ridiculous. I am learning it is more important to show that I believe my message is more important to deliver DESPITE the way it makes me look. In this way I can communicate "I love you so very much that I will say it even if it makes me LOOK ridiculous"!

4) Interesting FACT: our dog Spirit obeys my verbal commands even better since I am having this speech problem. I am thinking that maybe it is like everything else; it is the "unusual" that gets our attention. Everyone else's voices sound similar. But mine is now so unusual that she can easily separate it out of the crowd of other noises in the environment ... it is much easier to filter out the racket and see what is really important. Hmmm. I think there is a good analogy there!

5) Patience -- I don't know about you, but I want problems fixed and NOW!! So I have been increasingly hard on myself when it comes to this mess. I am looking at it as: "what did I do wrong?"; "when will this be over?"; "how can I make it better and faster". What can I DO??

Lesson I am learning: God is STILL in control (always has been) and if I would quit fighting Him I will be able to rest in the peace that comes with that understanding. It is NOT about what I can or cannot do --- (all about ME syndrome) --- rather it is again that God is showing me to "be still and know that HE is God".

6) Faith -- so this is another time of growing my faith. I do not like it; it is uncomfortable and an inconvenience not only to me but also to my loved ones.

CONSIDERING THE BUTTERFLY EMERGING FROM COCOON

Did you know that if you were to cut open a cocoon to help the struggling butterfly get out of it's cocoon, you would actually be doing it harm?? You see that relatively ugly, slimy, can only crawl so far in two whole days little caterpillar gets to go into one of the greatest transformations that I can think of in nature. God transforms this worm into a beautiful flying testimony in the course of a few days. But it is in the struggling that the new butterfly does while in the midst of the cocoon that he builds up his wing strength.

It is during the struggling that the strength is developed! Did you get that!? If you were to feel sorry for this new butterfly and cut open it's cocoon to ease it's struggle, or allow it out sooner, even if the butterfly's wings had fully developed, they would not be strong enough for him to fly upon!! You would only have a more beautiful worm, that LOOKS like a butterfly, but crawls around like a caterpillar. He would be freed from his temporary struggling only to be limited by his unreached potential. How very sad!

Therefore, I am looking at my current neurological and speech trial as just a temporary time of strengthening for me as well. God wishes to transform me into the likeness of His Son Jesus. Although, I do want to get better as soon as possible. I do NOT want let out of the cocoon one second too early. I don't only want to look like Him, but also be able to have the required strength to act like Him.

If you were blessed by this posting I would love for you to leave a comment. Thanks and may God bless you!

Sensitivity and Numbness.

2009-05-12T10:09:00.007-04:00

It is interesting that God seems to be using "numbness" to teach me "sensitivity".
Sensitivity to His plans being more important than mine. Submission and asking for advise and help must be used when my own decisions are unpredictable.

My family and close friends know that I've been having greater word finding problems as well as poor decision making, memory, org. skills. Now it has escalated to include some other problems that I can't ignore as being a flare up of Chronic Fatigue.

Yesterday, fatigue was horrible, severe headache and then 4:30ish numbness in lips and rt. side of face, stiffness in neck increased and went from just numbness/tingling thick feeling to sometimes burning.

This morning, I woke up to spreading of numbness down my rt arm.
RATS! God really wants my attention here I think.

I've just finished wrestling with myself to submit to God's plan of not relying on my own understanding, which is clearly failing when decision making is so cruddy. I sought outside advise. It actually looks like I'm going to have to do the unthinkable and forego my fun plans for this glorious sunny day to plant and do gardening with my daughter. I was really looking forward to that more than you know. Instead wisdom says I need to go to ER.

I'm pretty bummed about that, but it is the "right" thing to do. I must be able to rule out stroke vs. just some kind of pinched or inflamed nerves. My family dr. said it's up to me whether I go into ER or not! Thanks for no help there Doc. Seriously, he said he couldn't diagnose over the phone, but nurse recommends that since its involving mental stuff, probably not just a pinched nerve. So she suggests I go ahead and go into the ER.

Other friend said better go in cuz no matter what, something is definitely wrong..

So I must forgo one of my favorite activities to go sit for hours in ER. Grrr!
Please pray for the situation. Tho' I'm not happy about this, I can do nothing but what I believe to be right and trust that I am in God's loving care no matter what.

My Title of this blog post is a great start off for a spiritual illustration that is brewing in my mind, but I am afraid that it will have to wait; I'm going to the ER now.

Mother's Day Blessings of Love

2009-05-10T01:31:00.008-04:00

I believe that this is the perfect addition to the blog for today. In honor of all mothers:
I Love You Forever as read by the author Richard Munsch.

A very special HAPPY MOTHERS Day to not only those who ARE mothers, but all of us who HAVE or HAD mothers. This story is narrated by the author himself. Enjoy.

A Special Note to MY mother: "Happy Mother's Day MOM! You not only gave birth to me that I may live, but pointed the way to my 2nd birth that I may live eternally!! Love you forever Mom!"

On My Knees

2009-05-08T00:41:00.005-04:00

My friends and followers may have noticed that I've not been as
social online over the last week. Why? Lots of reasons, but primarily, high demands of many different projects all coming due at the same time. There were the annual stage props for a production at Madame Walker theatre which my husband and I cranked out in record time. There were additional practices for our band as we performed a benefit fundraiser for some abused kids to be able to go to a Christian summer camp. Finally, there was all the paperwork and organization of a record number of members in our Warren Waggers 4-H Dog club of which I am leader.

All of these activities are a joy to me. However, they all came together at a time where they acted as a kind of "perfect storm" of stress at a time when my Chronic pain and Chronic Fatigue decided to ravage my poor body.

There were many days of zombie-like walking and "what was I just doing?" I'm still not at my normal level of functionality, however I am better than I have been in the last few weeks. So that is why I am up at 12:45 a.m. catching up on blogging and some other postings.

Today was a wonderful day! I have all those big projects behind me so I could insert my thankfulness to God into my prayers that lasted longer today. I spent a LOT more time 'on my knees' today since it was the National Day of Prayer. Though President O'bama did not call attention to it, as our previous U.S. President had, I did remember to make it a priority on my schedule of events for the day.

I am concerned for our nation; if we don't remember to turn to God, how will we know in which direction we should go to receive His blessing? I prayed for our leaders, our communities and especially our families. Even tho' this particular day of emphasis on prayer comes only once a year, I am thankful for the opportunity it has given me to renew my fervency for prayer.

Our Lord promised in His Word that if we will turn to Him, He will turn toward us and He will heal our land. Though it seems odd, I am thankful for the season of weakness that I've had to endure. It allows me to truly acknowledge that through my weakness I am made strong. Like the Apostle Paul, God has seen fit to not remove "the thorn in my flesh" (as Paul called it) even though I've prayed for it. Like Paul, I may have taken pride in what "I" accomplished in my own power. This way, I KNOW that ALL my power comes from Him, because I truly am a weak vessel that feels so very weak that I might implode or vaporize with a gentle wind.

So tonight, right before I go to bed, I will once again go down on my knees. After all, that is where I can acknowledge that I never did have the control that I wanted. Even more importantly, it is when I feel most out of control that I can rest assured that my awesome God always was, always will be, and IS in control. Now that's peace!!

A Chance to Win a Pocket Video Camera

2009-04-21T15:02:00.005-04:00

I was given a nice bit of information today. So in all fairness, I am turning around and sharing that free information with you. Here is a chance to win a great little piece of technology. Check it out at Creative. The actual contest can be seen at one of the blogs I follow called AsTheyGrowUp. These are good examples of how web2.0 can get news out about people and products. Good luck to us all!

Image of VadoTM Pocket Video Camera from Creative Website link.

Update: 2 Arrested in Car Crash

2009-04-15T12:58:00.005-04:00

Local television stations are reporting more details about last night's crash. James Hopkins, 21 of Indianapolis, and a female passenger were arrested for the incident. They reported that they had been carjacked. This is also what I had heard first from his mother when she spoke with me last night across from scene. WTHR news is reporting that the story they told appears to be not exactly true.

As it turns out, Mr. Hopkins should not have been out driving at all because he was under house arrest. Though I have yet to see the scene in the daylight, the reports are saying that a bush, a pine tree and a gas meter were the major damages done by the vehicle. The house was spared from major damage and no injuries were reported.

Car Crashes Into House

2009-04-15T01:05:00.016-04:00

BREAKING NEWS -- Indianapolis Eastside....
in the 7200 block of Pleasant Run Parkway. VERY near where I live. At about 10:30 p.m. I noticed some flashing lights of emergency vehicles in our backyard and apparently very near the front of a neighbor who has a child with health concerns. From the upstairs bathroom I had a better view as I noticed the two fire trucks, and rescue vehicle were moving slowly down the block. This didn't make sense. They had appeared to be in front of one house for quite a while, but now they were moving! So it couldn't be a fire or home rescue.

The other odd thing, along with the policemen who were arriving, there must have been a dozen or so neighbors milling about. Standing at the edges of their lawns, sidewalks or drives and looking up and down the street. There were several people shining flashlights along the side of the road, sidewalk and into some lawn edges. From where I stood, I could see one neighbor and he son paying quite a bit of attention to something large lying in the road near the far curb. But it was too dark to see very well, I could just make out it's size from the flashlights beams dancing across it. Several different people acknowledged this thing lying in the street but kept a respectful distance from it. What was it? Was that a body?

Since the neighbor and his son were going over to the house of my newer neighbor friends, I decided that a real investigation was in order. I put on my shoes and headed to David and Ann's house (not their real names).

This is what I discovered:
David and Ann had been watching T.V. in their living room when they heard a racing car and a very loud "BOOM". Ann said that it sounded like a blowing transformer only multiple times louder like an explosion. They both jumped up out of their chairs and ran through their front door that was only about 10 feet from the couch. As they emerged out onto their front yard they could see the car it had come to crash into a house at the other end of the block!!

See the satellite photo with markers:

Neighborhood Crash Map
Originally uploaded by Ellen5e

This is what is surmised at this time: (see the photo with numbers)

[1] The boulder rock at the edge of David and Ann's front yard was struck by the speeding car which was reportedly driven by a young man with a young woman. Although David and Ann did not see the young people, someone reportedly saw them run from the scene.

Left in the Lawn
Originally uploaded by Ellen5e

[2] There was a piece of the car at the edge of their yard (it looks like a piece of bumper or undercarriage). David and Ann's boulder rock was yards east and across the road near the far curb [3]. It was this boulder that I had seen from the distance lying in the road.

As I walked with my camera along the north sidewalk, I noticed a good deal of wire that appeared to be either telephone wiring or some kind of cable broken and lying along almost the entire walkway as I went down to where the police activity was happening at the far end of the block. There was a teal colored car [4] with its passenger front end crashed into the brick of a house where a state trouper lives!

I stayed on the far side of the road and took a few photos though it was dark and rainy and my camera is not of professional quality. I did my best to hopefully document some neighborhood news. As I was taking photos Channel 13 local TV news trucks were arriving and setting up. I could smell the faint odor of gas and there was a gas utility truck in the area, but there appeared to be no real danger.

As I was body-tripodding my camera shots, another car drove up and the gray headed woman started talking with me. She said that this crashed car was her son's. He was at his apartment right now and told her that he had been hit on the head and someone took off with his car. She asked me if it would be able to be driven away. I told her, that it looked too smashed into the house to be able to drive. She got a cell phone call and started to get into her car, so I ran to the group of officers saying "officer, quickly, that lady over there says she is the driver's mother and she's getting ready to take off." Two officers went straight to her, and another listened to what I had to report. He chuckled when I repeated the part about the son claiming to be hit over the head. "I am sure that's not the first time you've heard that one," I said to him, as he laughed and nodded.

I then asked that officer if I might get some closer photos. He then asked if I were a reporter. I said that I do some neighborhood reporting with IndyChristian.com but that I live nearby and just want to get a few pictures. He told me that since any photo I took may be evidence he didn't want me taking any more photos. I told him that I would gladly hand over anything I took, but sadly I would comply.

Luckily, I had already taken some photos, though the darkness and all the lights reflecting off the rain hindered my photographic abilities. At least I have a couple of shots to prove that I was there. Maybe I'll even scoop the Indianapolis Star. LOL

These unusual events in our neighborhood brought to mind how very important it is to stay in touch with your neighbors. God tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves. I was truly concerned for the safety of not just my own family, but many of the others who live around me. It was refreshing to see, that even as people were settling down for sleep, they came out of their homes and checked on one another. At a time when many news venues report on the selfishness and hardness of so many people, it was heartening to witness people in my neighborhood who haven't forgot how to be neighborly.

Neighborhood Makeover

2009-03-31T17:02:00.011-04:00

INDIANAPOLIS: As many of you are aware, ABC's Extreme Home Makeover is in town this week to build a home for a local teacher Bernard McFarland (click here for previous article by IndyChristian ). Consequently there has been a reawakening to the idea of neighbors helping neighbors to better our community.

(photo from WRTV; link is below)
It seems peculiar to me that it so often takes a force from outside the community to come in to motivate people to help each other right here. So many local vendors and businesses are donating materials. Those resources and the volunteers were here all the time. It just took the spark of a national TV show to fan the flame of community action? Why is that?

Hoosiers are known for their "Hoosier Hospitality," yet I have to admit that sometimes I don't understand why it is that it is so hard for people to treat their neighbors as well as they treat visitors.

Though, I still don't understand why this is, it reminds me of what Jesus says in the Bible about a prophet not being as well received in his own home town as he is elsewhere: Luke 4:24 (New American Standard Bible)"And He said, "Truly I say to you,no prophet is welcome in his hometown." Perhaps we are simply so accustomed to the status quo that it takes outside inertia to get us to become fully aware of what is already all around us.

Do we believe that we are simply "too busy" to take a little time to get familiar with our neighbors? We may have become so focused on striving for the "newest, greatest and best," that we become blinded to the needs of others. People may think they don't have enough time or money to offer to help others. How do we know unless we at least endeavor to find out? So often, what seems as a very trivial thing to us, means the world to someone else.

By being thankful for the many blessings that we already have, we can see that we DO have something to offer. We can make an impact on the world around us... and not just the physical environment either. More importantly, we can show people that we value them; each and every person matters.

So, while Indianapolis is all abuzz with the happenings of a national TV show taping in our midst, I want to encourage you... that is you reading this article... to keep the ball rolling. Those of you who have tried volunteering or seen for the first time how very much can be accomplished when people work together for good, be encouraged. See what a mighty thing can happen when we come together in love and caring for others.

Practical application: some thoughts on how to makeover the neighborhood.

1. Take a Walk. So many of us are bustling from here to there by car, or bus, barely making it to our destinations on time, that we do not "stop and smell the roses." Have you considered taking a walk with your family after supper? Make a game of it by asking the kids to see how many people they can get to smile or wave back at you, how many dogs bark as you pass, take a few trash bags and collect litter as you go, etc.

2. Get to know your neighbors. How many different neighbors could you tell me about right now? What do you really know about them: kids, pets, career, school, church, or are they a gardener, might they pair up with you for exercise class or walking or like to golf?

3. Ask Questions. How have you been? Is there anything I can do to help? How can I pray for you? Would you like to join us for a bar-b-que Saturday afternoon?

4. Just be available. Everyone needs to feel valued and you can help that happen for someone. By simply flashing someone a smile or wave, you have acknowledged them, and done something of value yourself. How cool is that? By saying something like, "I am going to the store, do you want me to pick anything up for you? I am going to be there anyway," you have let the other person know that you are happy to be of service to them.

You see, it doesn't really take much to makeover our neighborhood. Let us not rely on outside forces to bring to our attention that we have within us the ability to make our community a better place to live. May God spur our hearts into action by helping us be more aware of those around us and any needs that we may help meet.

You can follow updates of Twitter: EstridgeHomes
Here is a link to the local ABC News affiliate WRTV Ch.6

What's Your Favorite Color?

2009-03-16T14:20:00.009-04:00

The question of the week from a friend is
"what does your favorite color say about you?" My answer is PURPLE. That is my favorite color. A deep royal purple along with a vibrant fuschia are my very favorite colors.

I don't know what it really says about me. I know that many people feel that purple is the color of royalty, but I don't consider myself to be especially aristocratic or even comfortable with snobbery.

I do think it is interesting that purple is made from the combination of red and blue. Ever since I can remember I have been artistically interested in the way in which colors are made. Red is a hot color and blue a cool one, so if you mix the two you get this lovely "I can be both! " That is one way of looking at it I suppose.

Purple is found in grapes, beautiful mountain scenery, and the crocus flowers which emerge from the still falling snow to testify to the promise that Spring is not far away. Amathyst is a purple stone that is assigned to my February birth month. A deep purple velvet shows off sparkling jewelry like brilliant stars against a God's velvety night sky. Purple can be soothing like lavender or bold like a banner.

Yes, purple is my favorite color and I think it says that I am flexible. Neither the hot-tempered demanding red, or apathetic cold blue... I am understanding and approachable; a caring, passionate purple : )

How's that for an answer JoJo? If you are reading this, will you please comment on what is your favorite color and what does it say about you?

Heaven's New Tenant

2009-02-26T12:40:00.005-05:00

Today I learned of a dear friends sudden homegoing. Although we are both strong Christian sisters, I find it very difficult to do other work today. Therefore, I write this blog entry in her memory.

Okay... so the tears are flowing! I feel the sorrow of knowing I won't hear "you look like such a cute little ol'baby doll" in that sweet southern drawl when we speak together at the UBCafe every Saturday. I cry in remembrance as I am hearing her voice, feeling her soft "Palmolive" dish-washing hands, and teasing her to smile for the camera.

Marie was one of the reason's I enjoyed going to the Unleavened Bread Cafe for Ask Anything Saturday ministry. I could get pretty busy doing things with other people, but would never miss the opportunity to connect with her each time.

Since Ms. Marie was the main dishwasher at the UBCafe, I would sometimes take my dishes straight back to where she was working behind the kitchen. Then I could hug her from the back while she was elbow deep in dishwater. She would flash me that beautiful smile that she hid from the camera. Yes, the ivories were crooked, but they were as bright as diamonds, and I regret having not been able to catch that genuine smile on film.

Ms. Marie could be a playful imp from time to time. I know that one of our favorite "games" was trying to keep Neil Cox's half-emptied coffee cup from being escorted back to the dishroom along with other dirty dishes that Marie collected. She made us laugh when she got into that "you better not turn your back or that dish is 'mine'" mood.

I sure am going to miss my beloved Miss Marie... the hole in my selfish heart is oozing pain. Evenso, I rejoice to know that my sweet Miss Marie is going to be there to party with me in the sky when the trump sounds and we meet our Savior in the air along with all the other saints! And we will be singing praises to our LORD and Savior forever, and ever. AMEN!

Mayor delivers State of the City Address

2009-02-25T01:15:00.004-05:00

On Saturday, February 21st, Mayor Greg Ballard delivered his State of the City address at Christel House Academy on Indianapolis' south side. Despite the blustery snowfall outside, there appeared to be approximately four hundred people assembled in the charter school's gymnasium to hear what the mayor had to report.

Click here for additional photos of the event

Birthday with friend Henry Lee Summers

2009-02-25T00:15:00.008-05:00

Henry Lee Summers poses with me on my birthday Friday, Feb. 20th). Steve and I went to Gallagher's 2 on Indy's southside for pizza and listening to their band play!

Henry Lee Summers and I became friends in Spring 2007 when in some classes together. I didn't know who he was until AFTER he helped me with some guitar chords. THEN, we joked around, sang/played a lot between classes... guitar, keyboards, singing...good times.

It was my birthday, so we went to Gallagher's 2 on Indy's southside for pizza and listening to their Henry Lee Summers and the Alligator Brothers play.

When not playing with Henry Lee, on their own, the band is known as SoulShine - Brian Baker (Far Left.:former national touring guitarist), Henry Lee Summer (middle front) and Charlie Bushor (middle back, former drummer for The Why Store, MCA Records) Rhonda Baker (lead singer/keyboards) and Greg Baker (Bass, far Right).

Fire Burning Love

2009-02-14T01:24:00.018-05:00

My friend Gabe voiced his concerns about some of the larger Christian organizations of the nation drawing large crowds with uber-celebrity type people. Also, the idea that maybe too much time was being spent on being a good "leader". This made me think of a worldly, success-based motivation behind the meetings. So I understood Gabe's frustration. To view Gabe's original post, click here. The following is my response:

Hmmm... Gabe Dear... me thinks that you are noticing the trend of many "Christian" organizations, churches included (sadly) that are taking the eyes off of the flame of the candle in an effort to reinvent the candle stick. What 'style' is the most attractive," becomes more widely discussed than "do we need to trim the wick," or "is the wind so turbulent as to endanger blowing out the flame?" Worse yet, in my opinion, is how we can get so caught up in the externals that we 'douse the flame' with an unloving or cynical attitude toward those that are different from ourselves.

Maybe we are not even striking the match, quenching the Spirit when we do not follow the Spirit's leading to take the initiative and speak out or otherwise demonstrate God's hand at work in the lives of others. It might be too uncomfortable or embarrassing for us to knock on a door or pose a question. What might they think of us? That sounds a bit like that old fire-extinguisher 'Pride' trying to get rid of the flame of Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

"BURN ON," I say! And how can I keep that flame burning brightly if I don't keep it stoked with the Word of God! God's Word is my delight... like honey..."YOUR WORD is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path," Ps. 119:105, If I am to let my "light so shine before men" from a hilltop and not under a basket, I believe that I must daily keep in close communion with God.

As I draw closer to Him, THEN I will naturally have a testimony flow from that. "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, THEN all these things will be added. . .". What makes me a better 'leader' is that I train myself to be a better "follower." It goes against our sinful, selfish nature, but, Jesus Himself spoke of the need for us to serve others. At the time He was saying it, He was washing His disciples feet. So who am I following? God or man? Now, THAT is the question.

All the fire references that have popped up in this comment are as a result of my having just re-listened to "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads. I associate my passion of following God and being filled with the Holy Spirit with the visual image and analogy of fire. And that song popped into my head.

So I went and looked at the lyrics. Some of the words in that song speak to personal agenda getting in the way. . . is my house in order... am I trying to do things my own way with the latest and greatest techniques.. getting all worked up into a frenzy and then burning my own house down in an inferno. Thanks, but no thanks.

Give me the comfort of knowing that God's fire is at the center of my home, bringing warmth and comfort to my family and friends, as well as any strangers who chose to partake in hospitality. As long as the fire is contained properly in the firebox beneath the mantle... as long as I adhere to what I know to be the correct way to handle and care for the fire, I have nothing to fear. By simply doing what I have learned to be correct I am able to be protected from the winter chill, AND rejoice in sharing that warmth with others. Link to Burning Down the House Lyrics by Talking Heads
Link to Burning Down the House Song

Yes, it is cold outside. But, we have been given a wonderful fire in our home. Would you like to come in and join us?

The Internet Mission Field

2009-02-13T22:09:00.007-05:00

Though it may not be what first what comes to mind as an evangelical mission field, the Internet has proven to be one of the biggest mission fields that is ripe and ready for harvest, that can be reached without gathering up monetary support.

I have been blessed to have been able to complete a course at Crossroads Bible College of Indianapolis which was entitled "New Media for Urban Change". This was an innovative course in which students were introduced to "the Digital Divide", methods in which people learn and are taught, as well as utilizing the ever-expanding tools on the World Wide Web.

Technology is reaching out to us across the internet with many tools and programs that are Open Source (available for free) which allow us to, in turn, reach out to others with the Gospel of Jesus Christ!!

My course instructors Pastor Bryan Hudson, Hosea Baxter of Crossroads Bible College, and Neil Cox did an excellent job of awakening the "monster" inside of me. I mean monster, in a good way, as I was devouring all that they taught and actually applying it as we went.

Today I came across an article written by Dan Henrich called "Internet Evangelism for the 21st Century." If all goes well you can view by clicking HERE.

It has now become easier for me to reach others for Christ while not being so limited by physical limitations. The time of day, physical location of the other party/parties are not even a problem in us growing each other in Christ, IF... and here's the big one, IF we both have a computer and access to the internet.

As computer technology continues to progress to the point where many people are carrying around mini computers in their hands, I believe the access to devices will finally become more accessible. Likewise, the costs of obtaining a computer/device will go down and then to, the free use stations at libraries and many internet cafes will allow even the poorer of the society to take part.

That is why I so enjoy being an active member of Ask Anything Saturdays which takes place at the Unleavened Bread Cafe at the corner of 30th and Central, in downtown Indianapolis. Here, just anyone can come into the cafe for some good breakfast and on Saturdays (between 10 am and 1 pm) I and a few other community servants, will help people with finding out whatever they want to know by using the internet.

We help people who are afraid of the computer, but must use one to apply for a job or set up an e-mail account. We introduce people to the internet and the many tools available online for free. And, most importantly of all, we introduce strangers to the Lord Jesus Christ or lift up the brothers and sisters of the body who need encouragement and prayer as well as some hands-on assistance.

Question of the Week: What's your mission?

2009-02-11T23:55:00.001-05:00

A new friend of mine is inspiring me to blog more. She has challenged me with a question of the week to take place on Mondays. So here is the first one. "What is your mission?"

I am going to answer that for myself, sharing it with you on this blog, then ask you to either comment with your own answer or giving a link to the answer on your blog. This exercise should challenge our minds and our motivations, while allowing us to share our life experiences and lessons for the benefit of all.

For me, personally, my "Mission" is to become a more Godly woman while sharing the love of God with others. It is a mission of eternal importance. That translates into my NEW IDENTITY ... I have an internet and missionary identity of Ellen5e.

That's it "Ellen(five)'E'". Ellen is my birth given name. The Five 'E's are what God has revealed to me as key to what I am to focus on while using my God-given talents of communication through art, music, photography, word and deed.

The Five E's are:
1) EXALT God -- worshiping, praising, proclaiming God's goodness
2) EQUIP the Saints -- study the Word, full armor of God, learn new skills & pass on what I learn
3) EDIFY the Body -- help fulfill needs, build up and encourage
4) EXAMINE myself -- strive to keep myself in line with God's plan
5) EVANGELIZE the World -- take the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the World.

So I use these five "E"s to gauge whether I am making the best use of my time. It's sort of like a shortcut to help me remember what I believe are the goals of my earthly mission.

Well, that's my "mission". Now, would you be kind enough to share your mission with me? I'd really enjoy hearing what drives you forward.

That is your mission, should you choose to accept it! This message may self destruct in ten seconds... nine... eight ....

Winter Wonders

2009-02-03T04:12:00.007-05:00

We are definitely in the throws of winter now. Twelve and a half inches fell on Indianapolis' far eastside on Tuesday into Wednesday. I don't know for sure, but I think we received more snow in that twenty four hours than we did all of last winter!

The snow was pretty to look at, but quite a chore to deal with. I shoveled one of our two driveways, the front walk to the house and the sidewalk next to the street, only to have it blow and snow it to the point where it looked as though I hadn't done anything.

This first photo is of our lamp post in the front yard. With all the snow it reminds me a bit of the Lamp post in the Chronicles of Narnia.

Even better was the view of our picnic table on the back deck. Heaped up with pure mounds of snow I couldn't help but ask "Picnic anyone?" and "Now, where's that grill?"

OH DEER!! Here is a photo of a deer that I captured with my camera. She was all nestled into a thicket near Coffee Creek in Chesterton, Indiana. After we went to church, she was lying in an area where we had spotted her standing earlier.

As of this posting, there are still several thousand homes without electricity due to heavy ice damage in southern Indiana. I am so thankful that we didn't have that mess. Kentucky has so many trees and power lines down that utility people are coming in from other states to help get them back up and running.

Here at home, I am thanking God that we have heat and no tree damage. Only 42 more days 'til Spring!! But then, who's counting . . . I AM!!

NEW YEAR --- can I start over?

2009-01-04T19:01:00.010-05:00

Do you remember the times when you were a kid and things weren't going your way (especially if it was while you were learning the rules of a new game at recess) and you would look to the teacher with puppy-dog eyes and say "can I have a Do-Over please"?

There have been many, many twists and turns in the month of December 2008 for me and my family. So, here at the very beginning of 2009 I would like a Do-Over.

I'd like to just start fresh with a clean slate from square One.

IF it were possible this is what I'd do:
-- erase ALL of my email inbox right now without reading any of it. Just tell my friends to resend anything that is important.
-- take all the post-it stickies all over my desk office and spilling out into other areas of the home and miraculously have the info on them stored where it should be or thrown away!
-- have a very trusted friend come into my home and help me blast through the piles of receipts and papers and files and throw out all of it except the "important" (defined by taxes, medical, assets). Now that I think about it...it might take more like a group of friends... but they'd need to know what they're doing, 'cuz Lord Knows, I don't.
-- tear up my Social Security Card and recreate my identity. Start with fresh credit records, medical records and all the other "Past", so I could have it stop dragging me back into the past.

I really think it would be funny if someone stole MY identity... they wouldn't know what they were getting into. They certainly couldn't go out and ruin my credit... we don't use credit cards and there are so many medical bills that they would receive instant justice when all those bills came to them!

Do you remember that pop song [Talking Heads "Once In a Lifetime"] where the guy wakes up in Hollywood and he asks himself "Well... How did I get here? " Well, that is what is running through my mind right now. HOW did I get here? One major life twist after another. Especially as it pertains to health issues, my time up until now has been chaotic when it comes to keeping things filed away in an organizational manner. On top of that the papers just keep comin' in.

I don't really make a list of New Year's Resolutions because I know that it is beyond anything that I can do apart from God's power. Rather I do reflect and see where I can improve in the upcoming year. One of my top priorities for 2009... get out from under the paper mountain and stop some of the inflow of more paper... UNLESS or course it's the green variety with the numbers on it. Making money using my skills is also at the top of my list.

I'd say "wish me luck," but I really don't need that. However, if you want to pray for my discernment of doing that which is right and obedient as I learn to sort this all out... please do.

Without a Leg to Stand On

2008-12-08T15:27:00.002-05:00

Surgery Discription
Originally uploaded by Ellen5e

The last few days have been really tough. I always have chronic pain, so I usually have a pretty high pain threshold. However, this latest surgery has ground me down more than any previous. Since I have had extra time awake in the middle of the night, I have used the time for closer examination of this phenomena. Why is this time so different?

Almost all of the other 39 surgeries have involved my LEFT ankle, foot, leg, knee. As a result I have gotten very good at making left-favoring body accommodations. While favoring my left side, I balance and make micro adjustments with my right side of my body, where there are no fusions or limitations to keep me from doing so.

Here is the crux of the problem. Now, that the RIGHT foot had to be operated on due to biomechanical changes resulting from all that unnatural gaiting and balancing, the LEFT foot simply cannot offer the same kind of support to the right, as the right has done for the left. It doesn't seem fair, does it?

I can hear my right foot now. "Oh sure, I'm there standing right beside you for all those dozens of surgeries, picking up your slack; supporting you. Then, the ONE time I need a little help, you wimp out on me! What's up with that?!" lol

It is by trying to play peacemaker to these two feet of mine that I learn that I have been just as guilty of not understanding the true nature of the problem. It is so easy to "blame" someone else, or to take on false guilt myself. I "should" be doing more. I "must've" done something wrong. Nope, I must examine what is really "true." What is that?

These are the facts: 21 years ago I was struck by a car which changed the direction of my physical capabilities forever. There are things that I will NEVER be able to do again on this earth. There are things that I dreamed of doing, that I will never get to do, period. The sooner I face those facts, the better.

Because I am allergic to all the pain meds that most people can take for relief, I am not able to receive the relief from Chronic pain that many people have come to expect from modern medicine. Though I feel entitled, the fact is, I am not. This "thorn in my flesh" is mine. God only knows why. But, whatever the reason, I do trust Him. In a sick kind of way, I am honored. For God's Word says that He will never give us more than we can endure. He has a whole lot more faith in my abilities than I do.

I’ve just returned from the follow-up appointment with the surgeon. Dr. Karl Raynor explained to my husband and I exactly what he did in there. He also showed us the x-rays. There is a bunch of swelling and bruising, but no infection. YEAH!

Recovery is underway. It will take some time, but I will get through it and be stronger on the other side. But, for now, it's just one step at a time on this journey of life.

If you click HERE you will see more photos of the foot up close and they are not for weak stomachs.

A Little Birdy Told Me

2008-12-08T07:05:00.002-05:00

Oliver Comp perch 02
Originally uploaded by Ellen5e

Well, a not-so-little Patagonia Conure parrot actually told me to hang in there. This post surgery pain has GOT to let up soon. Oliver, the bird, actually jumped off of his cage, waddled down the hallway, climbed up the sheets and onto my shoulder. He was concerned about me and new that the Spirit the wonder dog had kept coming in here to see me.

Therefore, not to be outdone, Oliver made the extra effort to show that dogs are not the only loyal pets in this household.

You can see other flickr photos of my pets' bedside manners by clicking here.

Dig - Dug Drag

2008-12-08T06:58:00.001-05:00

Excavation Day2
Originally uploaded by Ellen5e

Please pray for Steve. My poor husband has been digging for two days now, in the cold weather trying to get to the place where the lateral drain has collapsed. He is determined to uncover the spot by hand and THEN have a contractor come in to pull permits and actually perform the repair in order to save hundreds of dollars.

The only problem is, well, not having draining water for our household has already meant that he's made a run to the laundry mat; lots of sponge baths, and fine china equals paper plates. I am thankful that so far he is doing a good job of not overly straining his back and also takes frequent breaks to recover from working in the cold.

He has removed a lot of tree roots, but still hasn't uncovered the area that the snake prodding says is only about six feet from the clean-out.

You have to wonder what the neighbors are thinking. Looks grave-like especially with the black plastic bags of straw nearby. lol

Big Pain with BAD drain

2008-12-04T17:41:00.006-05:00

Monday we discovered that we have a BIG problem. Apparently our drain from the house to the street has collapsed. Right before Thanksgiving we had a problem with draining laundry water backing up into the tub of the bathroom across the house while also overflowing the toilet. AAH!

Thank God I happened to have just gone to the bathroom so I was there to get everything up off the floor and also put up a dam of towels to keep water from getting to the carpeted hallway. Still I spent all afternoon cleaning up and bleaching. YUCK!

My husband Steve, rented a power auger and used it in the drain cleanout and things were better... we thought. It happened again... water is not draining from tub, for a very long time. When we go and glance outside, the cleanout cap has water oozing out, which means the pipe has certainly been blocked downline.

Several homes in our 1960s neighborhood have the "gopher dirt line" running from their house toward the street showing that they too had to replair/replace drain pipe. Apparently clay drainage pipes and plus we have clay soil, so FAIL.

Right now, we are only flushing 2 times a day. Sponge bathing and Steve 1 minute shower. At least Steve is able to use toilet at work for solid waste, but I am worried when my time comes. Gonna have to use a 5-gallon bucket with lid as a chamber pot and then impose on a friendly neighbor. We need this fixed ASAP!!!!

Now here's where the real pain comes in. Normally, a repair like this would cost $3,000 plus. Steve has decided that he will use a snake, determine approx area of collapse, then dig by hand. Bigger pain, FRIGID weather. Ground is freezing up as we are having hard freezes in teens at night and 20's or 30's in daytime. PLUS Steve has a very demanding work load at his job, so not time to take a day off. So it's gonna be slow going. By the time he gets home in the evening he only has about an hour of semi-daylight with which to dig. Plus the snow is coming.

I have a bale of straw in the back to use for insulating my roses and strawberry patch. So I suggested to Steve that he fluff some of that up into some large plastic lawn bags to lay down on the soil to try to insulate temperature of soil a bit.

We've already located the gas and water lines and Steve's looked at the utilities map at the City. So, a shovelful at a time, he will dig to the collapsed pipe area and expose it. THEN, he will bring in the contractor who will pull the permits and actually do the repair. Steve can then help do the back fill to save more money. So we will get the bill from the thousands to the hundreds. All of this is gonna take so long to do : (

Please pray for my dear husband, that he doesn't hurt his back, shoulders or neck during the endeavor, as well as his overall health as it is so cold and he is under increased stress of the situations. Thank you!

I praise God that we still have water coming INTO the house, so we are not without water. We have electricity, heat, food and communications. Most importantly, we are blessed to have each other. it will be interesting to see how this all comes out.

A "NOVEL" IDEA: I thought it would be neat to have a "Tom Sawyer Painting Party"-kind of event. Friends and Christian brothers show up with shovels and "dig in". I feel so unhelpful, because I really would be out there digging myself, but God has me in surgery recovery "oh-n0-you-don't" mode. Lord knows this is a very difficult place for me to be.

This life truly is a wonderful journey and even these trials prove to be an opportunity to learn and grow in love and understanding. Thanks for reading this.
If you have any experiences or advise to share, I would very much like to hear from you.

Big Pain with Ultimate Gain

2008-12-04T17:20:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I really thought that surgery number thirty-nine last February would be that last one I'd need in a long time. However, at my last ortho follow-up, my doctor and I discussed the need for another minor surgery. This one would be required on my "good" (right) foot.

You see, due to all the surgeries on my left (leg, ankle, foot, fusions, staples, screws and metal rod, etc....) biomechanics make me walk oddly across my right foot. Over time my big toe started turning more to cross over my other toes and metatarsal bone started shifting position.

So this surgery required opening from above, aligning the metatarsal bone with the others, and then taking another wedge of bone from big toe bones. That's right... with my surgeon's talent... I will now be straightened out and fly.... um, er, ... "walk" right. LOL

Surgery is over, and the healing begins. Since I am allergic to pain meds it makes it a painful process, but I have gotten great relief from the surgically placed pain block (now worn off) and some morpheine. The few pills they did give me for take home are helping for now, tho' the itchiness is building. Eventually, the rash reaction will outweigh the benefit of the pain and I'll stop taking it. Hopefully, I can endure for the first three worst pain days.

I am therefore back on my crutches. My good ol' friends that help hold me up as I heal. These are the original ones I got 21 years ago when all of this started. Faithfulness is the word. If these things had an odometer on them like a vehicle, they would have tripped over the 100,000 miles mark at least 4 times. : P

However, upon leaving the hospital yesterday, I was issued a new "boot" as I have now worn out my second one to shreds. I usually resole, put on new velcro and keep going. This new boot is more hard-shell plastic so will probably last even longer w/o shredding the neoprene and velcro of the fabric. It is a more visible light gray color instead of the black that I am used to. Which means I'm gonna have a harder time disguising it. Oh well, que sera.

Thanks to my Loving God, I can still celebrate walking with Him, even when I am not walking --- think about it. My soul can dance even while I am on crutches. Time to heal or is it heel? LOL

Need A Job

2008-12-02T17:13:00.000-05:00

I am currently customizing my resume's to potential employment jobs. Using my graphics, design and communication skills has been used as I can help others, but more out of volunteer and learning/teaching rather than pay. And only as my Chronic Fatigue lets me. If my body shuts down, there simply is nothing I can do to keep it going.

There is one medication that I can take to help with energy... only one, non-generic, incredibly expensive medication. It is TOO expensive. So it's a catch 22. I need the medication, to be able to have enough energy to do a job to make money. Aaaah!

So freelancing is the only way I can make a living. Or having someone give me job assignments with an upcoming deadline that I can work toward on a flexible schedule. I am pretty well set up at home to do a variety of work on the computer/internet. I just need to get paid for it and then a steady inflow. That's an area of prayer that continues.

I know there is some way that I can earn money from home office working, but am very leary of all the WORK at HOME ads out on the web. There are way too many scams. It seems the only way to know if an offer/business is reputable is to research it through the Better Business Bureau or Chambers of Commerce and both of those take a lot of time. Plus the disreputable scammers are always closing up quickly so they are harder to catch. Plus, just because there is not a report at the Better Business Bureau doesn't mean that there is not fraud going on; just that they haven't been reported... yet.

The best way to get a job will be from a personal referral. Fortunately for me, all my volunteer work and growing connections on the internet are building out a good job-seeking network. But, I am trusting on my friends to help me get good solid leads. I have gifts and talents, but I just need opportunity. I need someone, or company to believe in me and help me to help them.

If there is anyone that you think could use me as a worker for a fair wage, please let me know won't you? Thanks!

Thanksgiving with a Soldier

2008-12-01T20:59:00.001-05:00

This is not your typical holiday greeting or a link to an online card. Rather it is a heartfelt "Happy Thanksgiving" from our WHOLE family. We are here in St. Robert, Missouri to visit with Michelle for a couple of days. We pray that all of you are enjoying your family gatherings and blessings of just being together, let alone the bonuses of yummy seasonal feasts : )
--------------------
Yes, this was the first and only time she has seen us since July 1st. NO, she did not get to graduate. We just attended the graduation of most of her company because she wanted us to meet a lot of them, the sergeant's and other cadre. Plus, we were able to learn a LOT about the daily basic training and see some of the drilling in action.

Michelle was granted an overnight pass off base which is unusual for non-grads, but the Sergeants ALL are very impressed with her. You see, she is top-notch, but cannot graduate until she is healed enough to march and run 15k. The most she was able to do before the hip stress fracture was 8k, and then they shut her down for fear of the fracture breaking on through. She sure knows her stuff and she's very good at communicating that to others; civilians or newbies or being quizzed by the brass to explain to other groups.

We are so very PROUD. She is meeting with the adversity of an uncertain future and limitations that she has no control over quite well. She is a bit bothered by the way that medical holdovers on profile (physical limitations) are treated by the rest of the troop as a whole. There ARE fakers and wimps who pretend to be injured, and then there are the legit. We met a young specialist (like corporal) who is gonna have back surgery in January. But it's those that are assigned to crutches that basically don't USE them that gives everyone a bad rep.

After completing 2 cycles now, she is respected by most everyone. But it is the army way to shun the injured to encourage quick healing and compliance.

So with her off base overnight pass, she was able to come back to the hotel with us, eat PIZZA and then we went out to a movie. "BOLT" is a new computer animated movie about a dog that our family wanted to see. It was either that, or the new James Bond movie. The dog in the movie and his relationship with the girl made Michelle really miss being home with Spirit. But it has LOTS of funny lines and happenings in the movie, not to mention the different animation styles. So we thoroughly enjoyed it.

Then, there was the Scrabble game and LOTS of good conversation, and popcorn and junk food. Then she shared the bed with me. Then in the morning, decadence of all time, Krispy Cream Donughts! We're talking lemon cream and raspberry jam filled deliciousness. That and milk was it prior to the Family Thanksgiving Dinner Event put on by the company on base at 1pm. That food was delicious. And the best part was that there was no cooking and cleaning on my part. LOL. Seriously, it was surprisingly tasty and there were an abundance of things I never even got to on the side bar.

Turkey, Ham and Beef, Mashed potatoes and gravy, yams, StoveTop OR Bread stuffing, peas and mushrooms, corn, shrimp cocktail, pumpkin pie, cheese cake, rolls, and more and more that we didn't even go to look at. They charged only $6.15 for Steve and me, and Michelle just checked in. A few of the mess hall employees pulled me aside and said things like "we're not supposed to develop close relationships with the privates, but Spencer is special," and "She's a good one," and "we all like your daughter a lot around here." The one lady (has Michelle's number memorized) wanted a photo of all three of us together. And Michelle asked for one with her and the lady together.

There were a few tears shared between us. During graduation, when the graduates are repeating the Soldiers Creed as one, was very emotional for Michelle and I. Knowing that she has to sit there while they move on. I am sure it was even more emotional for her when her first cycle graduated. The ones in which she really bonded as they broke in together.

The best tears/conversations between her and I came when I spoke with her about how proud we are of her. She and I have a SPECIAL bond. Not just parent and child. Not even as a just good friends. She is not just my offspring, but a Sister in Christ. That is an everlasting bond despite physical place, time or even death. There is great security and thanksgiving in that respect.

But the one thing that we share that no one else can understand to the degree in which I do is : the incredible pain that comes along with having your plans dashed by an unexpected, bodily, limitation in which you have NO control. Physical pain is rough enough, but the emotional pain SUCKS! Now What?

One of the greatest things that I am thankful for in regard to Michelle's situation is that she has a very strong faith. She is tough in dealing with the pain. Sucks it up nicely. BUT she is smart about not doing more damage or ignore that a problem really exists. Finding that balance is a hard, but very important skill.

Click this link to view photos

Current plans are for Steve and I to drive back out to Ft. Leonard Wood mid-December, spend a night, see a couple more museum places and then home for the holidays.

Right now, we believe that Michelle will have to report back to Ft. Leonard Wood at the first of the year and continue on'til they decide what to do next. She is due to get a promotion on January 1st, so that is at least something for her to look forward to.

Christmastime will also include a trip up to cousins and grandparents up in Northern Indiana at some point. Less presents this year due to economy, but more family valuing.

We have many, many things that we are thankful for at this time of year. You, our Dearly Beloved friends and family are chief among those blessings.

No Voice! No Choice!

2008-11-22T21:52:00.006-05:00

Wow! My husband Steve and I have just emerged from one of the worst bouts of flu virus that we've had in a long while. He complained of a sore throat a week ago Thursday and then did the unthinkable. He actually came home early from work on Friday because he was so ill. The sore throat took away the voice. The fever and aches made one miserable. To top it off, the lethargy robbed us of any productivity.

Our full-time job became taking care of one another. Whoever went to the kitchen brought back a cup of tea with honey, chicken noodle soup, or Gatorade for the other. Mutual suffering, it was pathetically romantic. As I was about a day and a half later in coming down with this virus, I am the last to get back to 100%, nonetheless, I am at a good 90% tonight. If God blesses me with another hard night of sleep, I believe that I will "come into His house with singing" [Psalm 100] tomorrow morning as we celebrate the Lord's Day at Gray Road. Tomorrow is our special Thanksgiving celebration at the church. So it feels even better to get to go with revitalized health.

This week without being able to use my voice, much at all, gave me a lot of "quiet time". It was truly frustrating to not be able to just call up friends or family, or as I had to croak over the phone when my husband called from work. It made me think about how very much I am thankful for the voice that God has given me. How much I have taken it for granted. Those of you who really know me, know that I am rarely at a loss for words and am very creative at drawing word pictures and illustrations when communicating. So having this "fountain" shut down for the week went from being just pure pain and frustration, to an unexpected opportunity for me to "be still and know that He is God."

Without my voice, I was unable to ask questions. That was weird. It seems that I am a very curious person who is always wanting more details and understanding. Okay. So I learned to just accept it as it is. Don't question it. Take it as it's presented. If I don't understand it, well, then, maybe it's not important that I do so. Let it roll. Whatever... next!

Therefore, the lesson I learned this week with no voice:
No Choice with No Voice but to listen to that which is presented, and just accept it, as is, or NOT. I have the choice to either file it away for later inquiries, or just toss it aside. I don't HAVE to understand every little thing. That's a freedom that I didn't realize that I needed to experience which came to me through the imprisonment of my voice for a week. All in all, a pretty short trial for such a valuable insight.

Halloween - What Did YOU see?

2008-10-31T23:55:00.005-04:00

Did YOU see something scary tonight?? Or did you see the beauty of the families walking from house to house together? I was blessed to have over sixty little visitors at our front door this evening. I was further blessed to see there smiles as the candy was placed into their treat bags. Most popular outfits this year seemed to be Power Rangers and Star Wars characters, a few witches and goblins, the expected Scream, and the most precious princesses and darlingest Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz!!

Though some people think that Christians should not celebrate Halloween, we choose to look at it from the standpoint of getting to give to our neighbors and families. A time of interaction where they actually come to my door and talk to me, even if briefly.

I even got to talk to a very well dressed Devil character tonight about how things in the U.S. may look like he's winning right now, but the end of the story has already been settled in the Bible. "In the very end, you WILL lose." A thoughtful laugh was the return from the teen along with a smile. The zombie with him nodded his head in agreement.

To sum it up, the way I see it, this Halloween was a good one spent at home with my husband and a variety of lively visitors.

What's an IQ?

2008-10-30T20:26:00.005-04:00

Today I was cleaning out e-mail, linked to a site and took an online IQ test. Most of the questions were sequence related (some of the number sequences were difficult). I always enjoy the graphic sequences and suspect I did best on those and word grouping/meanings.

The final goal of this so-called free IQ test was to try and get me to check out some offers. Thanks, but no thanks. Just pressed the skip and navigated right out of there.

Final Score? According to this thing, my IQ is 140.

What exactly does that mean anyway? Is that good or bad, average or what?
Well, according to the afreeIQTest.com website a score of 140 is in the "superior intellegence" and just about in the range of "MENSA would like to speak to you". Yeah, right.

Anyone that knows me is probably laughing quite heartily now. Me too.

Miracle on My Motorcyle

2008-09-18T20:56:00.009-04:00

September 17, 1987 is a special date on the calendar for me. You see, it was 21 years ago today that my life took a major hit. While driving our Kawasaki 550 motorcycle I was broadsided by the car of a young lady performing an illegal U-turn. My life as I had known it (had planned) would never be the same.

It was just before the impact and I was waiting for morning rush hour traffic to clear from one of the two major one-way streets located at the end of my commute to work in beautiful Santa Barbara, California. I knew that I had to wait a few moments more before the traffic cleared. So I took the opportunity to shoot up a praise to God. "What a gorgeous morning it is Father. There is not a single cloud in the sky." Additionally I am going to be early for work, and I am excelling at my job.

Looking back on that moment now, I realize that was the last minute in which I had no chronic pain in my life. I really do forget what that felt like. Perhaps God answered me with " Oh sure, you think it's beautiful and hunky dory now, but let's just see what you think in a minute." I believe that in Heaven, God was gathering the angels to watch what was going to happen next.

After crossing the intersection, I noticed that a car traveling in the opposite direction quickly pulled along the opposite curb as it going to park. But then it happened. The sudden impact broadsided me full force as the black bumper of the Civic instantly crushed my Left Ankle. I found myself startled (WHAT just happened), in great pain as my foot was hit by the car then pushed off the peg, and dragging along the pavement. On top of all that, my head was wizzing by the bumpers of cars parked on my side of the street as I was still moving forward although at an angle of a track bike (like the GT racers we just saw here in Indy).

I jerked with all my might to keep from going down. All the while it occurred to me that I am now driving on the wrong side of the street (from jerking up), my foots dragging, and I must stop in just a few yards BEFORE I enter the intersection with the other major one-way street. AAAAAAH!

This is where I testify to the miracle on my motorcycle. God was at work greatly in my life. He got me to stop the motorcycle before getting hit again. I did NOT go down even though broadsided. I think part of the credit for that goes to the fact that I raced bicycles at Major Taylor Velodrome and in racing class and training we would purposefully jam our bicycles into each other to learn how to avoid wrecks and react to unexpected pedal in your spokes.

Once I had managed to stop the forward movement of the cycle, I was standing there with both hand squeezing the calipers on the handlebar (clutch and brake). I was managing to stay balanced on my one right leg, but it was heavy and my other foot was mangled. What was worse is that I couldn't shift the cycle into neutral because it would have been done by my useless left foot. I was stuck there!!

Just then, a VERY pregnant woman came up the sidewalk to help me. I remember thinking that the gutteral screams that came out of me were not very feminine (surprised that I sounded like a guy) and that I could even scare her away if I didn't quiet them.

She came up to me and saw that I had a problem, but couldn't hear me very well through the running of the motorcycle and due to the fact that the visor of my full face helmet was down. So she was fumbling around trying to undo my helmet. I swallowed all screams of pain and yelled, "PUT... the KICKSTAND.... DOWN!" Once she did that, I killed the bike by turning off the key with the assurance of the kickstand there to keep me from falling over.

I took off my helmet and looked down at my foot. It looked like the ends of two of my toes were missing and I knew that my ankle foot was broken. The lady had called the police and ambulance and wanted to help me to the sidewalk. I initially declined since she looked like she would deliver her baby if she lifted half of my weight. However the incessant throbbing convinced me that I should accept her offer.

We managed to get me to the sidewalk, a couple of very painful steps, and then I was down. Only then did I see that the only damage to the motorcycle was to the left case guard that helps protect the engine... a $50 part!! Another miracle.

Yes, God saw to it that I did not go down, that I had NO other damage to my body other than my left knee, leg, ankle and foot. Do you realize that if I had gone down I wouldn't have been able to even use crutches?

May I just say something about crutches. When I am using them I get the "oh, you poor thing" look from everyone. Others using crutches say, 'don't you just HATE having to use crutches?" My answer is a resounding "NO." I love these crutches. This is the original pair and if they had an odometer on them it would have tripped over the 100,000 mile mark about three times. I don't know what I would have done without them.

When I am on crutches I can really move!! Just ask my friends. Unfortunately, right now I am recovering from a shoulder injury and can't use them yet. So I appreciate them all the more, because without their use I am much more limited. Still I do have the famous "black boot" that I can throw on when I am expecting to be "slammin'" (on my feet or walking a lot). Again, I get the looks and the questions "what happened, did you have another surgery?"

I know that people are generally caring and tend to think that injuries are supposed to get better. But the sad fact is that some of us are never going to recover from our injuries. Not in this lifetime anyway. These appliances (crutches, canes, boots, funny shoes) are just our ways to cope in the meantime. To try to live a productive life in spite of the physical challenges.
I now joke that I have been through probably about a dozen sets of guardian angels. They draw lots up there to NOT have to get me as a client.

Almost half of my life has now been in constant pain.
As a competitive long distance runner I used to just push through the pain. No pain, no gain, right? Maybe so, but you will notice that I don't run anymore. I can't. If it's an emergency or something I can lope along with the understanding that I will have to pay a physical price. I'll be "lame" for a few days, and have to go back to using my crutches.

Worse than that, I often don't realize that I'm overdoing until after it is too late. Again because my way of dealing with pain was to mentally 'shove it aside', I use a kind of self-hypnosis that worked well for me as an athlete, but that can do damage to me now.

Since I am allergic to almost all pain medicines, I can take none. So I really am in constant pain every moment I am awake. But there are a couple of coping skills that I have learned that work for me. Music is the biggest one. When I sing or play, it is a painkiller for me. It helps that I like to sing praises to God with our church worship team and jam on mandolin and guitar with friends. That's why you'll hear me turn almost any sentence into the lyric and break out into song.

Another painkiller is laughter. My friends help me with this one. Laughter is the best medicine is tried and true. I know that depression is just a natural outcome when someone is dealing with chronic anything. There are chemical things happening in the brain with seratonin and endorphins and such. Since I am unable to be as physically active as I was as an athlete it's even more important that I laugh. Like exercise, laughter increases the endorphins; the body's natural pain killers.

So that is why when you first meet me you may think that I am very silly. I am learning to roll with the punches and not take things too seriously. I realize that things could ALWAYS be worse. And, in many people's cases, they are. However, I also realize that no matter what happens it is all under God's control.

Let God be God: get out of the way.
So my plans to be a nurse practitioner were trashed, as were the ability to participate in a lot of the exercises and sports competitions that I enjoyed. Now I have a permanent disability that prevents me from enjoying the life I wanted to live. Besides the walking, standing, foot down time and distance limitations, I have the physical drain of the constant pain. Think about it, when you are in pain you get tired more easily, don't you. I think part of that is from swallowing down the pain, not expressing it through some means. The other problem is the emotional drain. Frustration of not being able to do what I once did, it's never going to get better than this, the extra time that adaptability methods require. It just takes more time to do things.

For me, with my bent toward perfectionism, I need to get rid of the "would have," "could have," "should have" statements. It just is what it is. I am not God. I am learning more and more the importance of the Serenity Prayer:
"God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things that I cannot change [past, not in my control], Courage to change the things I can [focus on what I CAN do, and learn new ways to adapt], and the Wisdom to know the difference."

Over the last 21 years, I have learned a lot. I would not have chosen these events. But I now see where God was in control the entire time. "I know the plans I have for you.... plans for hope and a future," is what God tells me in Isaiah. It is not the path that I would have willingly chosen for myself... motorcycle crash, crushed leg, 31 surgeries, pain and disappointments.... "sure, sign me up." Nonetheless, I am blessed beyond measure. I have become a stronger person who is learning to take my value less from what I do and more for Who's I am.

I joke about the fact that with so many surgeries and stuff, the guardian angels have to draw lots in hopes of not getting me as an assignment. I'm sure I have worn out at least a dozen sets. I know that like Paul, God has allowed me to be molded through trials. That if I hadn't had all this happen TO me, because He cares FOR me, I would probably have been a prideful, arrogant, competitive jerk. So when the trumpet sounds, get ready to eat my dust... cause I'm going to be running into glory!

But for now, I'm going to keep on placing my faith in Him and do my best to help others to meet my Saviour so that they can come with me. You wanna come???

Why I Tweet

2008-09-16T07:08:00.007-04:00

Tweeting [posting a message on Twitter] IS conversation that is not just "for the birds". It's a way to soar to new heights of involvement in other people's lives.

"A little bird told me . . . " what did you hear, what are you listening to, what interests you and what of value do you have to offer others?

Twitter is a web service that is so easily integrated with other websites, phones and mobile devices that it is quickly becoming the primary way to stay involved.

I believe that Twitter is a valuable tool because it allows me to stay current with what's happening right now in other people's lives. It is a major method by which I can not only meet new networks and friends, but also build those relationships exponentially as we literally share our lives with one another in a messaging kind of way. These messages are sent in short updates based on the question "What are you doing now?"

However, that doesn't mean to say that we need to know that you are blowing your nose or taking out the trash. It gives me "up to the minute" updates on what is happening in peoples lives: I get instant prayer requests, testimony to God's provision, thought-provoking opinions and advice, leads and links to other resources, a wide range of TRUE HELP in a time of need. If too much noise comes from a source that I am listening to, I simply will no longer listen.

Just like in real life conversation you choose who you will listen to. "Follow" is the term that Twitter uses. Just as in a crowded room at a social event, you wouldn't care to hear what every single person might have to say, rather you value listening to and talking with those who have something that you value to say or ask. What is interesting to you?

How interactive is it?? The crowded room is like a group chat in the new media world. A lot of different people are talking at once, so they have to be divided up into smaller groups "chat rooms" which generally center around some topic. However to participate in a chat room, or an IM chat for that matter, you must be physically there to take part. The conversation goes on without you and you may simply miss out.

This is a bit different than a message board... again usually centered around a topic or an email or webpost... which is posted then may be left for a while before any more activity takes place. Not necessarily at-this-moment, but when you get around to it. The posts are stored somewhere for reference and/or later action.

Now let's look at Twitter. Twitter would be like the host of the party coming into the crowded room and saying, there is dancing in the Grand Hall, a buffet on the terrace, and by the way, a red BMW has left its lights on. If you were out of the room when the announcement was made your friend can restate what was said (Twitter keeps some of the more recent tweets), so you can pop in and out of Twitter and just check back. BBL (be back later) The announcements were made publicly, but a person chooses to act only on those things that are of interest to him.

My tweeting has gotten me into friendships that would have taken me much longer to find (if at all) just out on the streets. Twitter is a communication tool that acts kind of like a family reunion or gathering of friends. You get to know people by word of mouth: things they say, tweets about opinions they have, books they read, music and food preferences, and more importantly to me their overall character... the way that they live life.

Reach out... go to them...I see a HUGE opportunity here to bypass all the awkwardness of social boundaries like what do I wear, how do I act, who can I go with so that I'm not alone, suppose I don't know anyone there... all the insecurities that can paralyze people in fear. I believe a lot of these concerns have crossed peoples minds at some time or another and driven them to the conclusion that going out into some social situations is just too 'fake" as many people try to dress and impress for that first impression. Once people listen to others on Twitter, they get to know them before they go out in public places. Twitter is great for setting up a spontaneous get-together: meet for lunch, go to a movie, games at Lou's... fear of rejection by asking out on a formal date is bypassed by "I'm going to ------ wanna come?".

I think that Twitter allows people to be honest and transparent in a way that frees a person from so much fear and rejection, and allows for true fellowship to take place. In my experience I have developed a group of people that I care for like family. When they hurt or need help, I am quick to encourage. When they celebrate something good, so do we all. That is BIBLICAL in my eyes.

Additional WITNESSING opportunities as postings demonstrate how a Christian lives in real life. Suddenly a non-believer's aversion to anything Christian as being judgmental and hypocritical is challenged by the fact that there are several postings a day of how professing Christians are 'walking the talk'. That all Christians are not condescending and condemning. That Christians, like any other person, are in process. We are ALL on a journey; and Twitter can help us take it side by side!

DARE----Accountability -- another benefit of the Twitter community is the fact that we can help each other remain accountable. Did you get that math homework done Jon? We essentially "spur one another on" -- another Biblical principle I see that is assisted through using Twitter. We can challenge each other to examine our opinions and how those line up with the truth that we value.

SHARE----By sharing what we experience, know, feel, enjoy, dislike, value and detest, we are opening ourselves up to the possiblities of helping each other,

CARE - encouraging and being encouraged,

PRAYER -praying for each other, giving advise and practical aid in specific areas that can be stated very specifically and in-the-moment. For example, "I am having a problem with trying to get my pictures off of the digital camera. Can someone help?" OR "My sister went into early labor, please pray" OR "I'm going to South Bend for the weekend. Where's a good restaurant to try?"

For the most part Twitter is Public (there are privacy settings and direct messaging that can be just one on one) so many people can contribute to a conversation about when and where to meet, advice on problem-solving, recommendations on resources, when one person posts a prayer request or a statement about being ill or something, it is fantastic to see the flurry of posts that respond.

People do listen. People do care. Every person matters. Twitter helps communicate all of that.

Looking at INNOVATION as bringing creativity to bear against solving a problem, then Twitter is a very valuable tool in the realm of innovation.

Meditation by Moonlight

2008-09-16T01:30:00.014-04:00

Midnight snuck up on me again. I was doing work at the computer and time went faster than it was supposed to. So Spirit, our terrier, gives me the "are you finally ready for bed look" and heads for the back door for the final going outside ritual.

I went ahead and stepped out onto the back deck and was instantly taken by what a beautiful night it was. The temperature was refreshingly cool, but not cold. The humidity that was so oppressive just yesterday was now a nice moisturizing caress as the wind gently blew. The night was quiet with only rustling leaves and upper level wind sounds moving the clouds across the moonlit sky.

That's when I saw it! The moon was gorgeous. The last time I was so mesmerized by the lunar light was during the solar eclipse earlier this year.

So I ran inside and grabbed my digital camera to see if I could capture what I was seeing. Mind you, mine is a point and shoot digital with very few of the higher tech lenses and settings that I enjoy on my 35mm, so I decided it would be fun to experiment.

I played around with settings; flash *ha* vs. no flash, zoom out vs. zoom in, holding at different angles, holding close to body and stiff vs. away from body and loose. I was having a lot of fun as I incorporated some treetops or branches and composed different shots.

Then I did something I haven't done in years. I went out into the yard and just laid down in the grass and gazed skyward. I didn't really care that the ground had dampness from all of yesterday's rain or that dew was collecting on the blades on which I was about to repose. Though Spirit was quite confused as to why I was lying in the grass in the dark and taking photos, nevertheless, she came to join me and we made a memory that I just had to share.

Though my initial motivation was to lie down to stabilize myself for no flash nighttime photos [because I was determined NOT to go inside and dig out my tripod], I soon found myself once again under the spell of the 'lesser light of the heavens'.

I was truly enjoying my time watching the high cloud shapes and colors dancing with the moon. I found myself watching the colors change as the bright orb temporarily ducked behind the passing clouds. I even found myself eagerly anticipating when the moon would emerge in the upcoming clearings.

It was as if the moon were saying to the clouds, "you may think you can keep me from shining my light, but your opposition to my mission is merely temporary. You will pass on by, while I will remain. Your desire to stop me from my purpose is but a mere hindrance. In your attempt to hide me, to shame me and belittle my light, you have actually brought about additional interest to the nighttime sky. So, like Joseph of the Old Testament, I say to you, 'you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good."

The Bible says that even without another person's testimony, creation itself will testify to the existence of our supreme creator. It was a blessing to have the moon reminding me that though the clouds seem dark and ominous at times, though they seem as if they will snuff out anything I try to do and attempt to make me disappear, yet will I continue to burn on. The light that God has given me is just as bright as it emerges from me whether I am behind a cloud of opposition or in a clear spot. The passing clouds of various earthly trials are fleeting events.

The very clouds of what appear to the world as threatening to my very existence have no effect on my ability to shine for God. If I continue to shine, the colors may change, and shadows dance across the landscape. However, if I keep my focus on reflecting the Son's true light, those watching can join with me in anticipation of the hope that is ours and the celebration as we emerge victorious on the other side.

What's more, though I did not change in the amount of light I was reflecting, it would appear to the observer that I am shining even more brightly as I come out of the shadow of the clouds than had I been simply alone in the sky and unhindered!

Yes. It definitely was a very interesting night.

I would value your response if you would kindly comment on this post.

Bath Time

2008-08-22T03:04:00.001-04:00

BunniesD2C-poster
Originally uploaded by Ellen5e

After feeding it is bath time; messaging clean and then down belly and to the tail to help newborns learn to eliminate after eating and outside of the sleeping area.

Plus by noticing their elimination, I can tell if they are digesting well. That and their energy level tell me they are doing fine so far. : )

This is wild mama rabbit behavior and Sable is learning to clean not only himself but also his sibling.

Time to Eat

2008-08-22T03:03:00.001-04:00

BunnieD2B-poster
Originally uploaded by Ellen5e

Though not the softest of nipples, the monoject helps me deliver the formula (condensed milk, goats milk, clover honey and soluble vitamins). I am very careful to not depress the plunger too fast so as to prevent aspiration.

I learned that bunnies of this age, eyes are not opened yet, will eat about 2 times a day and about 2 ml per feeding. Most important feeding time is between midnight and 5 a.m..

Whatever the cc/ml amount, I look to the little one to tell me when it is full and look for signs of a nice rounded tummy when done.

Tiny Tennants

2008-08-22T03:02:00.002-04:00

BunnieD2A-poster
Originally uploaded by Ellen5e

This is the second day of caring for the newborn orphan cottontails.
Their 3 older siblings were killed when the nest was destroyed by either our terrier or the neighbor's cat. Mother bunny didn't pick a very good spot for them.

They still have sign of umbilical stub and were quite emaciated when I rescued them. Each of them weighed just over 1 oz. Although the odds are greatly against survival of babies this small, I think that my animal husbandry skills improve the odds.

Gardening: A part of the Miracle

2008-08-10T02:45:00.001-04:00

I really do enjoy gardening.

I would rather spend all day out there than do laundry, wash dishes, vacuum or grocery shop. There is just something about digging into the dirt, breaking up the tough crust of the earth and pulling out the weeds that is therapeutic. The feel of the worked soil and the actual smell of the earth and fresh plants adds to the sense of feeling like I'm a part of creation.

Since my shoulder injury at the beginning of July, I am really missing the time that I used to spend gardening. Even mowing the grass was "gardening" to me. Plus, I would be getting fresh air and exercise. Alas, my bum right shoulder is severely painful and limits what I can do.

This past Friday, I received the bad news that I would need to cut physical therapy short and go back to my family doctor for more diagnostic tests (probably an MRI). I simply am NOT getting better even with what PT I can do. In fact I'm getting worse. The therapist thought I should be further in recovery if nothing worse was wrong... so... back to the doctor I will go. UUUGH>- -<

This is bad news for my gardening urges. I have managed to stay on top of critical issues like watering, feeding; dead-heading and harvesting. However... here in Indy we have had quite a bit of rain and the weather is fabulous so vegetation is getting the density of a jungle. And this shoulder makes it extremely difficult to pull weeds. Hoeing/// Forget about it! Running the mower or weed-eater... No Way!

So I must watch in dismay as my garden looks so much more scraggly than it should. I must ask for help from my husband to do things that I would normally do. Humble pie just does not taste as good as the cherry kind.

"Whatever things are true, honest, righteous, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent or worthy of praise let your mind dwell on these things. . ." Phillipians 4:8,9

Click here to view To snap out of these bummed shoulder blues... I decided to finally post the many photos I have taken of my garden and flowers so far this year. I hope you all enjoy them.

Growing Pains

2008-07-14T21:21:00.007-04:00

Today I was commenting on another Christian brother's blog post in which he shared his frustration and discouragement of not knowing where he "fit in". I decided my response would be worthy of posting on my own blog. So here you are --

Well my little Brother in Christ... you are Growing UP!!

All of us are born into this world with that big vacancy that only God can fill. We ALL try to fill it with substitutes from time to time... even AFTER we're "saved". That's our sinful human nature. Pride wants us to take the credit for solving all the problems, wielding all the power, and controlling all that there is to control.

What you have been, and are now, experiencing is called growing pains. I am NOT attempting to minimize the pain and frustration that you've been enduring. Rather, I am just trying to congratulate you for your acknowledging it.

As good ol' Dr. Phil says, "you can't change what you don't acknowledge." However, there is a more dependable source than even the smart doctor: the Holy Scriptures state that "fear is the beginning of understanding".

Let's face it, one of our greatest trials can be fear. Fears often cause us to get off-balance, and then before we regain our composure something ELSE comes along. We get HAMMERED by fear.

I believe that Satan feeds on our fears. That little Devil gains great joy when we beat ourselves up. "Why do I keep doing things wrong? Why doesn't anybody want to BE with me? Why am I such a problem? What good am I doing? Maybe they'd be better off without me. Maybe I'll just stay home. I wouldn't have had any fun anyway. . .

Soon, we can find ourselves isolated, lonely, and depressed. That is far from God's plan for us to be: connected and involved with people, and living lives full of blessings and victory over trials and problems. Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness, gentleness and self-control... that's what God wants for us. And He provides the means if we just look to Him as the source.

And then there's the concern of those of us who are "people pleasers". "What are THEY going to THINK?" "They're going to be: mad at me, disappointed, hurt... They'll think I'm ugly, nerdy, goofy, stupid, a fool, a burden..."

Do you see it? The way Satan gets us to focus on ME. If he can convince me to focus on myself and how terrible I am; then he will succeed in keeping me from doing the very thing I am here for. I am here to show God's love to others and to allow God's love to come to me through others. When the love of God is allowed to flow through and to me... then and only then do I get to feel the joy of purpose.

That is how I can be joyful even during times of trouble. Jesus promised a helper. He NEVER lies. The Holy Spirit ministers to me through other people. And I am allowed to minister to others in the same way. See 2 Cor.1:3-7 :D

"Perfect love casts out fear," so to obtain "the peace that passes understanding" allow yourself to turn to the comfort found in His Holy Word. By examining the truths that God reveals; we are better equipped to recognize the lies that try to present themselves as truths.

I started out with this being an encouragement to a brother. But as much as I have seen Satan's handiwork in action lately.. I think I'm going to actually blog this as well.

In the meantime, Brother, I hope that you will be strengthened as you focus on calling the "stinkin' thinkin'
flat=out lies! God said that you are His adopted child and there is nothing that anyone can do to take you from His hand.

God's Word is TRUTH and it says in Romans 8 -- "(38) For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, nor heavenly rulers, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, (39) neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

And WHEN (not IF) I get beaten up on the Battlefield of the Mind, I must quit going on the offense and take a defensive stance. All I have to do is get behind that Shield that God has given to me... the battle is the Lord's and He is my Deliverer. So sometimes I just need to acknowledge that I NEED Him. Then I just need to fully rely on Him, having faith that He is control of it all. . . that His way is the Best way.

Psalm 119:114 --"You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your Word."

In closing, I would just like to:
Exalt the Savior - He is in control
Equip the Saints - Study His words to fight lies with truth
Edify the Body - remember You are not alone
Examine myself - this advice for you is also reminder for me
Evangelize - let's press on and share what we learn : )

With love, Ellen5e

Storm Leaves Some Disconnected

2008-07-09T19:18:00.010-04:00

One of my great passions is communications. Graphic Arts, photography, video, music and song, face to face and (increasingly) net-based, new media. Yes FaceBook, Twitter, G-mail, IMs have greatly enriched my everyday life and ministry opportunities.

Like most conveniences of our modernized lives, the importance of the technology isn't really appreciated until it's lost. And that's where I am at the moment... DISCONNECTED.

Last night at 9:20 p.m. a nasty thunderstorm descended upon our neighborhood and unleashed its fury! Lightning strobed. Thunder shook walls. One particularly close strike sent our terrier straight up into the air in fright. Our electricity flashed, just enough to have to reset the VCR/DVR and cause me to go into possible power failure mode. Lighting up the hurricane oil lamp, shutting down computer and peripherals and double checking power surge protector connections; the inevitable happens... the cable connection is lost immediately following a gigantic howling of wind.

With computer off, TV out of commission, and me not wanting to start more reading... I pulled out my guitar and actually practiced technique! I can't tell you how long it's been since I have played focusing on musical technique as opposed to automatic "plug and play" or "Zone out and sing out"... that kind of thing.

After the worst of the storm seems to have passed, I noticed that there were tree leave clumps scattered all over the yard. I was grateful to learn that our 50 foot ash tree managed to keep a grasp of it's limbs. Though, I took a flashlight outside to inspect the cable connections, I didn't see the problem. But clearly we were without cable service. No internet, no TV, not even phone. I am DISCONNECTED!

Fortunately, we still had electrical power, so I did some non-internet computer work and office organization well into the night... into the next morning hours actually.
So much for my original thought of "stormy weather, stuff shut down, I'll make up for recent sleep loss".

My chronic pain always flairs with severe weather and this proved to be no exception.
One of the ongoing tools my chronic pain group uses is "Don't Isolate". And here I was forced into isolation. EEEK!

So, again, I was up 'til near 4 a.m... only 2.5 hours of sleep this time. God help me. I did get task lists organized and established for Getting Things Done, so though the hours were later than I'd have liked, they were very productive. Just not on the major project that I really WANT/NEED to work on... I need the internet for that....aaah.

Here it is 24 HOURS LATER and it seems like a WEEK!
Thank God, I could just hobble on back to my alma mater Crossroads Bible College, the nest of my New Media outreach, and walk right in to settle in at the very same computer station I used while here last December. Check it out.... this computer still houses bookmarks of my favorites. I'm feeling more CONNECTED already.

So as I am nestled in front of the warm glow of the computer screen actually getting some online work done, God continues to minister: I meet an elderly poet who likes to talk religion and reads and comments on my blogs and picture posts. He does most of the talking, I politely stay engaged, but it is God's words that come from my lips to him over and again. : ) A bit frustrated by not getting more "things done", but realize that this divine appointment may have been an investment in a fellow's day; a possible paradigm shift, hopefully an encouragement in his faith walk.

Later, I talk to staff members... testimony sharing time. God is praised and we are blessed.

Then, Jamel a co-student, younger brother in Christ and FaceBook friend happens into the computer lab. What a great surprise. He graduated but is giving a sermon tomorrow so we share the lab as well as exchange useful Bible quotes and illustrations. You know, the very last time I saw Jamal was over 6 months ago. He was preparing for a sermon to give the next day then as well. Coincidence? I don't think so!! I'm really feeling connected and loved now.

Once again, the thing that strikes me most is that I am NOT getting as much of my Project presentation done as I had hoped. However, by putting the people over the things; God is clearly working!! I wish you could SEE this. It's exciting.

So, as I had forgotten yet another password... to my FriendFeed account... I went to ask them to reset it. I of course had to verify the request with a Captcha (random words to weed out unauthentic requests and tampering). Mind you these are RANDOM.
Are you ready to see this???

This "random" set of words given me by Captcha didn't seem so random given the trial I was passing through at the time.

"Render" I had been rendered, torn, forced to do things in a manner I would not willingly have chosen. I rendered to Him that which is due. God is in control!

"Believe" Have Faith, Trust in the One who ALWAYS gives me ALL that I need, and gives so in such abundance that it is beyond my comprehension.

Nothing Is Too Small

2008-07-07T20:56:00.007-04:00

I have been going through a passage of maturity just lately. A very ominous, daunting, dark and narrow pass threatened me just this last weekend.

I have been taking part in an inter-city mission that I had been called two "accidentally" for over two years. "Ask Anything Saturdays" is conducted at the Unleavened Bread Cafe in the heart of Indianapolis. This mission-field is one in which some of us Christians implant ourselves into an otherwise unfamiliar culture to be used to show the love of Christ in practical ways.

The overall objective is to be available to introduce anyone who comes in off the street to the basics of using computers. So much of our society today involves the World Wide Web for developing job skills, applying for jobs, conducting research and getting to the information in a fraction of the time it used to take. Even more exciting, is the opportunity to make new friendships and network across many physical boundaries.

The internet has allowed us to cross racial, economical, cultural and educational boundaries. There are tutorials that help the newbies start out on this new adventure called the Internet. There are still some accessibility issues, especially for the aged and the economically strained. However, thanks to Public Libraries, schools, and now other social gathering computer cafe's, this boundary too, is being torn down.

Since I consider myself a "Walmart Missionary" (my term for witness and connect WHEREVER you happen to be at the time, to whomever happens to be around, in whatever way the Lord leads) when I was first asked to make myself available for a few hours on Saturday mornings, I accepted the commission.

This is an commitment that I do not take lightly. I often have NO idea of who will be there or what possible way(s) I may help them.

This last Saturday, July 5th, there were BIG plans at the UBCafe. We had been urging some cafe regulars to come to a special Media Training event. I was encouraged by a co-servant to spearhead the workshop. It would take a bit of extra preparation on my part, but I was very happy to accept the challenge. We even invited others from outside the usual crowd to come join us.

Thursday night before the Saturday event, the Great Oppressor started to work on me. I had a terrible fever, too nauseous to eat, extremely weak and a headache that made looking at my computer monitor for prepwork extremely difficult. All day Friday the illness continued. Then the battlefield of the mind was being bombarded with "oh man, wonder if this fever doesn't go away? Suppose I am not prepared enough?"

God, comforted me with a remembrance of the story of the little boy with the tidbits of fishes and loaves that fed thousands. "Just do what you can and I will take care of the rest. Don't listen to the Supreme Liar who is trying to convince you that you can't do it. Remember, in weakness, God's strength is magnified."

This is the same exact lesson that God has been showing me to encourage not only myself, but other Christian workers who are getting bombarded lately.

Saturday morning arrived. My body was still sick, but I was trusting that my fever was NOT contagious and prepared for the workshop. I had gathered all of my things and was heading out to our only car only to discover that we were totally out of gas!

So, my husband quickly took the van down the street to put in some gas, while I phoned to my friends to let them know that I would be tardy, but I AM coming. I felt so apologetic, knowing that they were waiting for me. Again the battlefield of the mind was aglow with new "worthlessness" bombs and a barrage of "you're letting everyone down" grenades.

About that time, Steve returned to tell me that our debit card was declined and we have no credit card. OH NO!! It turned out we'd been double charged and it hadn't been credited back because of the holiday weekend banking hours : (

Earlier in the week we literally emptied our penny bank for gas so that I could make it to another Christian meeting I felt lead to attend. A Christian brother handed me a folded bill and simply said "here, go get some gas". I was blessed to receive the bill. I would go straight to put $5 of gas into the car. When I went to pay, I discovered that the bill was really a $10. So I pocketed the remaining $5 and over the course of the next day bought a gallon of milk (on sale!) and still had $3 left.

That $3 put enough gas into the van for me to get into the workshop. I had earned a fifty dollar check dog sitting earlier, that Steve would go cash at customer's bank which would close at noon.

Now, I was almost an hour late !!! The battlefield was having a turn in the fighting. I was more convinced than ever that Satan really did NOT want me to go this morning. And I KNOW from experience that when things get this bad, there is going to be a tremendous Godthing happen! I even verbalized that fact to my husband who was driving me in. And then again, I spoke out loud as I rushed right in to the community room. "Hold on and pay attention, God is gonna do something!"

I went from dread to anticipation. Leaning not on my own understanding. Not getting hung up with the "oh, there are not as many people here as I thought there'd be, maybe they left because I was so late." I was excited to see what was going to happen. Confident in the fact that whoever was here, whatever we shared, whatever we did... all of it was in God's hands, for His glory and for the blessing of us all.

We DID have a very productive workshop. It was difficult to balance the information between the totally inexperienced and the already understanding individuals so as not to cause sensory overload on the novices nor bore the experienced. God IS good.

Again, I was comforted as I AGAIN encouraged us all with the sufficiency of our Great God. That whatever little thing we have to bring God WILL use. We do NOT have to do it all. And what we may think is NOT enough, with God's power becomes MORE than enough.

As I was outside teaching basic video filming with some of the trainees, two of my brothers in Christ were talking about me. When I came back, I was offered a JOB! Those who know me and my physical limitations and lack of income, know what a tremendous blessing this was. My new employer has offered to pay me for doing communications work for the Ministry that he spearheads. Communications is my passion and now I'm actually going to get a little money for that. He was reminding me that he couldn't pay me much (apologizing about not being able to pay MUCH), but that it should help offset gas money. "It's not very much"??? What is the lesson we are learning boys and girls?

God is sufficient... just do what I can.... He'll handle the rest.
It's called walking by faith, NOT by sight.

Then, another miracle happened. My husband called my cell phone. Was I ready to be picked up? Oh yes, it was now after 2pm and I hadn't eaten yet, could he please bring me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with him?

To which he replied, "it just so happens that we got $100 refund in the mail just now". That was enough to buy some much needed groceries! Immediately after ending the call, I began to tear up. "God, you've done it AGAIN!"

I was so filled with praise for what He had done for us, that I gathered about 6 brothers and sisters who were about to leave the Cafe and said... "please just give me 5 seconds to tell you something and pray with me."

We gathered in a circle holding hands and I reported all that God had been doing just that very day. Then I offered up praise that just spewed out of me, with my dear friends joining in the Thanksgiving to our Saviour. Tears of joy and undeserved blessing streamed down my face. I thanked my friends and thought they'd leave. But once again God was not DONE blessing yet. A brother who I do not really know well at all, asked to pray. He affirmed that something that I had said testified to something he was learning through God!! Blessing upon Blessings... now this was a worship service. 7 people and gathered angels praising our Awesome God!

So, though this blog post is one of my longest yet. I think of it as a pile of stones of remembrance; set to remind us of how God cares for even the little things, even me.

It is fitting that this Independence Day weekend was one in which I was set free in a new way. That by simply pressing on against the seemingly narrow passage; I not only was escorted through the narrow chasm, but my SAVIOR used the Holy Scripture to BLAST a passageway, the Holy Spirit to energize me forward and the Awesome Grace of God to show me that on the other side of the passageway was beautiful meadow full of all the blessings that are yet to come!!

Thanks for taking this trip with me : )
Because I believe like it says in the book of Corinthians that when we share such things together, our sorrows are halved and our joys doubled!!

PS I've also embedded a great song on this page called "Just How Big Small Can Be" by 1000 Generations. This is my theme song for this portion of the journey of my life.

2008-06-22T16:47:00.001-04:00

Thanx 4 the prayers. The party was great! I messed up one of my mandolin leads, but only a couple of us in the band even noticed anything wrong. Just kept playing & it was okay : )

Another Milestone!

2008-05-28T12:25:00.007-04:00

2008-05-28:Today marks another milestone in the life of our family. Our only child Michelle is graduating from High School.

Tuesday was her first day not to ride the bus to school for the school year. I was so tempted to have some fun and run into her room (after knocking of course) and say, "hurry up the bus is coming!" Just to watch her sit up straight in bed, 'cause I knew she'd be asleep. Fun thought... but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I did share the thought with her later tho' and received a chuckle.

As it was we had a moment last Friday when I was about to drive her father to work. He said, "now, don't miss the bus." As soon as he finished saying that, I said, "do you realize that that is the last time you'll have to say that to her?" I continued, "I remember when Campy (our old dog) and I waited with you to catch your first school bus to kindergarten; and now, now it's time for the last one." It was a neat look on Michelle's face as I could see all of her school years flash across her memory.

We were very proud to watch her receive honors last Monday night. Outstanding Orchestra medal, and Outstanding Japanese foreign language medal. She was also awarded the "President's Award" with a letter from President George W. Bush. She didn't quite make it to the required 10.0 of 12.0 for top scholars of the senior class, but she was close. I'd rather stress integrity and honor than strictly grades, and we did see her making the effort.

Yes, the high school chapter is coming to a successful end! I am thankful to God that He has allowed her to not only learn educationally, but remain healthy, develop great character and a growing relationship with Him. She is truly admired by classmates and staff alike. As parents, we are so very proud!

Transformation of Information

2008-05-13T01:38:00.000-04:00

This morning after doing my Bible Studies and listening to Christian radio while partaking in a nice contemplative soak in a hot bath, I had a thought. Surprise.

Do I do a good job of using information that I am bombarded with everyday, or is it just so much clutter? Am I contributing to my own confusion, effectively spinning my tires, gunning the accelerator while the engine is in neutral, rather than applying what I learn? If so, my personal lack of discipline can work toward Satan's goal of keeping me from being effective for Christ.

It occurred to me that I MUST apply the information I receive or there is no chance at making any change. It is tragic to waste time and energy, because it is valuable in relation to reaching others with the love of God and bringing glory to Him which is my whole purpose!

So, being visually-minded as I am, I devised a VISUAL ANALOGY sticker to remind me of applying what is valuable and discarding the rest.

Growing and Helping Grow

2008-05-03T01:36:00.000-04:00

Ever since I was a little girl, I've always enjoyed the garden. I like the idea of helping to make the magic of a garden happen. My brother and I would have some really awesome dirt clod fights as we prepared the seed beds. We did have to put a size limit on what an acceptable dirt clod looked like, or else welts would appear after being pummeled by a hunk of Indiana clay that acted more like granite than dirt. OUCH!

Oh, and the fun times I had as a teenager, driving the tractor as my dad screamed "quit driving so crooked... straighten it up... what are you doing?'' Have YOU ever tried to steer a hopping tractor in a straight line when it's bouncing across ruts and valleys?? Well, it's not easy. The stripping of the gears and popping of the clutch, the smell of the diesel spewing out of the exhaust that mixed with the smell of the nearby hay, these are but a few of my farmin' memories.

But after we got through the hard part of removing any boulders or rocks or stumps, turning over the soil, plowing and then discing so that the soil became workable, then we would use the harrow and even out the topsoil. We three older kids got to ride on the top of the harrow on a platform to help weigh it down as Dad pulled it along. It no longer looked like the same landscape. The soil was prepared. It looked receptive. Ready to bear whatever we planted.

That's when the real fun began. We'd take out the kid's wagon full of supplies. Seed packets and a few seedlings we'd started inside to be transplanted in our new garden. Dad would lay out some twine between a couple of twigs and hoe a beautiful little furrow. He always knew just how far apart in children's hand-breadths and how deep in kids finger depth to place the seeds. So we kids were entrusted with the responsibility of following those directions exactly for the crop he had us working on, while he went on to hoe another row. Seed down in the furrow, next seed, cover with dirt, press down firmly and a cup of water to drink... and so the pattern continued for most of the day.

Yes, my father did a wonderful thing in that family garden. He taught his children to appreciate good, hard work. The joy that comes from being a caretaker and a partaker of the fruits of personal labor and God's gracious miracle of provision.

The Good Book talks about how a seed must die, before it can live. But once it dies in the ground, it sends out a brand new sprout which seeks out the light and pushes it's way up through the soil. Then it stretches toward the sun and sends out branches and leaves, pods and beans, fruits, etc. All of these in turn, produce even more seeds!! Not to mention some delicious eating for some growing children.

I used to hate it, when Dad would make us go and pull weeds. Especially cutting down thistles that were as tall as I was. But I learned the importance of keeping the weeds down so that the soil's nutrients would not be robbed from the crop that we desired.

To this day, I so enjoy the feel of the dirt when it is just right. The soil is warm and moist to where I can pull even the deepest dandelion before it sends up colonies of weeds. I love the feel of the dirt on my hands (I only use gloves for the hardcore stuff). Even dirt under my fingernails is not as annoying as it once was. I can smell the minerals in the soil, especially after a nice springtime shower.

As I relive all these pleasant memories, I can't help but recall all of the similes that are found in a garden. God chose to start His creation of man in a garden. Provision and beauty abounded. There was purpose and fellowship, joy and love in that garden. Yes, the garden is a wonderful illustration of the Marvelous Master Gardener and His loving, nurturing care for me and those I love.

No wonder I love to garden so.

Leg Work: a bit of bone surgery

2008-02-28T13:28:00.000-05:00

The 21st of February, the very day after I turned 46, I had my 31st surgery. God has been good to me in that I made it through another one.

This was the easiest surgery I've ever had on my leg. Dr. Karl Raynor went in and removed 2" from my left distal fibula (smaller lower leg bone) and the internal bone stimulator that was placed in there when my ankle was totally fused in May of 2006.

You can see the wires sticking out of where the devise had been. See that sharp bone sticking out of the back of the leg? That is the place to which my fibula was cut this time (where some tendon attach). It was about 2" longer but had grown toward the tibia to try to make a pseudo-joint which was causing unbearable bone pain for me.

The wires from the bone stim were wrapped around the ankle area along with some bone removed from my fibula to help attain a solid fusion. Though the bone stim is supposed to stimulate bone growth in the area where the wires are located, apparently some EMFs encouraged some bone growth at the end of my fibula that we didn't want.

You can see that I have a metal rod and a couple of long screws that bind things together. It looks rather robotic on xray, but kind of nasty in real life. I have a crookedy lower left leg with no outer ankle protrusion at all. It's flat and majorly scarred.

Still . . . I have my own leg and foot. I even have most of my sensory nerve functions so that I feel thing with that foot which is amazing given all that it's been through.

I joke with people who can't believe how many surgeries I've survived by saying, " When God does finally take me home, it will probably be from an infection from a paper cut or something small like that."

Seriously, the prayers of my friends have helped sustain me through everything. It is especially important since I am allergic to all the main pain medications.

I went into surgery at about 11 a.m.. My nurse's name was also Ellen (43 y.o.) and she also likes to long distance run. Therefore she understood when I said I take the pain and push it aside like when you are waiting for your "second wind". Still the different people including the anesthesiologist found it hard to believe that I was not taking anything for the intense pain.

I came out of surgery in record time and was very talkative even before I could open my eyes. I heard Dr. Summers (the anesthesiologist) check on me before he left. I asked him to please give us some "Summer" weather. It was a bad joke, but he laughed anyway.

At 1 p.m. I was home in my own bed! The nerve block that they gave me in surgery worked so well that I felt no bone pain, just sharp cut of the incision. The On-Q Pain med ball was in place to drip Marcaine right into the surgical site, and was a godsend for the three days it worked!

With my leg elevated in the wheelchair, I am finally able to get back to my computer to catch up (if that's EVEN possible) with all the things I need to attend to. [Yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition because that's how I would speak naturally].

Currently, I am using lydocaine pain patches next to the incision for 12 hours a day to help with the pain. I am to be non-weightbearing until at least Monday when I get the stitches out.

The most frustrating thing is that I can't do housework that I want, cook supper, or be much help around here. AND I am lonely, since I am unable to go out just yet. Thank God for phone calls and book reading, cause there's hardly anything worth watching on TV.

Well, I'm gonna call it quits for this post. I'll just be "kickin' back" and recovering for a bit.

Weathering the Storm

2008-02-17T23:55:00.000-05:00

Right now the wind is really howling outside my office window. It makes me think about the storms of life and about the sermon at church today.

The sermon was about Jonah and how he hired a boat to take him in the opposite direction of where God had told him to go. Jonah understood that God was telling him to go to Ninevah to give them the message to repent from their great wickedness and that God would then show mercy on them. Jonah understood, but that is not what he wanted. He wanted God to punish their evil, not show mercy. So when faced with doing something other than what he knew he should do, Noah ran away.

How many times does that happen to you? You have already set your course and God throws a Ninevah assignment at you.

What did happen to Jonah? Well, the poor sailors that were transporting him were threatened by the very same tremendous storm that God brought up to stop Jonah's defiance. Once it was revealed that it was Jonah's fault that they were in danger, the sailors asked Jonah what they must do to appease God's wrath. Jonah instructed them to throw him into the turbulent sea.

You see, Jonah would rather die than just tell the sailors to turn the boat around and sail to Ninevah. But God kept pursuing Jonah and helped him complete His assignment by providing alternate transportation in the form of a giant fish that swallowed Jonah whole.

Swallow a man whole you say? There isn't a fish that big. Well, my God is the God of all creation and I believe that His Word is true, so I believe that He did send that giant fish on a mission of its own. I would imagine that the fish wasn't real keen on swallowing this guy, but at least he obeyed.

So three days of pondering in the belly of that great fish probably had some impact on Jonah's acceptance of the mission. And the fact that when he was spit out by the fish, it was onto the shore of the land God had told him to travel in the first place... well, that should have been a major clue. No matter what YOU want, it's what God says that needs to get done.

So here are some questions to ponder:
What assignment have you been sent on with which you have refused to comply?
Why not just do it? Fear.... stuborness... inconvenience... pride?
Do you see sudden storms or alternate routes arise due to your defiance or denial of who is really in charge?
What is it going to take for you to accept the mission?

As I am about to go through another surgery, I am viewing it as an assignment. I am laying aside what I was striving to do: "I NEED to get a paying job, do more for my family, pay endless bills, clean up my office, update my computer, clean up the clutter and prepare our taxes."

Yep, it's time to turn this ship around . . . it's going to be God's way. I've never been very keen on the smell of fish.

Fishing For Men Using the Net:

2007-12-28T12:20:00.000-05:00

The Role Of New Media In Changing Lives For Christ

By Ellen Spencer

Final course paper for
CU490 – New Media for Urban Change
Crossroads Bible College
Instructors: Bryan Hudson, Hosea Baxter & Neil Cox
Decembe 21, 2007

The role of the internet as a form of communication is continuing to grow as our workplaces, our schools and homes, and even our cell phones are introduced to the new technology. The implementation of "new media" as utilized in these developing ways of communication has allowed us to connect almost anywhere and at anytime. Impacting the world for Christ as He said, "come, follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men"(1) requires that we at least have a primary understanding of the modes of communication and connecting that are available.

From the beginning of history, people of various tribes and tongues have used communication to make their needs known, to dialog with one another and to use their own personal stories to help teach and grow each other. Then the natives would decide to record a history and graphics were introduced by scratching out some visual symbols into rock for the benefit of all who could interpret their meanings. From such scribblings came a standardized group of symbols that became an alphabet and uniform graphic symbols. Now, people were able to communicate not just with one other person but with other groups of people.

I believe that as followers of Jesus Christ we are actually commissioned by Him to "... go therefore and make disciples of all the nations"(2) and to be "teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you ... "(3). Jesus Himself reached out to bring aid to the lost and hurting. He is THE Example of how to draw people of all races, creeds, and needs to God. How does this apply to the use of the internet in evangelism today?

"Come, follow Me, " Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."

First, we need to address the fact that individual Christ-followers have the ability to use the spiritual gifts that they've been given to advance the Gospel and grow the Kingdom of God! Every believer has been given the necessary tools to pass on the love of God. For the "fruit of the Spirit" is given to us at the point of our salvation(4). As a favorite mug of mine proclaims, "Today is God's gift to me. How I live it is my gift to Him".

Now that I am empowered by the Spirit, I am able (and commissioned) to take action and go take the Gospel to people. In Jesus' era, this was done in person and by word of mouth. Scribes also recorded the stories, letters and Words of God from the prophets so that we might have them today. The process of the transcription was so detailed that every letter and every line was counted and scrutinized to be sure that it was an exact copy of the Scripture. For as proclaimers of the Gospel we want to be certain that we speak the truth in love (5).

How do we speak to people? Our person to person contact is limited in our modernized world by our ignorance of the myriads of ways that are available to communicate with others. We are not longer limited to connecting only with people who are in our immediate societal circles. The "world has become flat"(6) , that is to say, the development of the world wide web and new media has leveled the playing field. You don't have to be a member of the upper crust of society to have access to the internet and all it has to offer. Nor do you need to be especially gifted in computer programming to be able to utilize it's many benefits. As Thomas Friedman points out, the societal changes (that have been rendered as a result of the creation of the internet) have helped globalize our communications . This has a unifying effect on peoples from different countries, cultures and life experiences.

"It took radio 38 years to attract an audience of 50 million Americans. It took television 13 years It took the Web less than four years from the moment when the Netscape browser became widely available in October 1994 to hit the 40 million mark"(7). Also, stated in these statistics, "a fifth of the 65 million people who do not use the internet live in a household with internet connection and there are other members of the family who do use the internet."(7) There are such "digital gaps" as age, employment status, income level, disability, language, community type, parental status, and race and ethnicity. However, these gaps are being bridged by the constant improvements in regard to easy access and usability.

You see, just as in the days of Jesus, we can reach out to the lost by using those tools that are available to us. We now have powerful tools like FaceBook for social networking and developing a sense of community and connectedness. Similarly, blogging allows a person to share their faith, encourage one another, and offer hope to a hurting or spiritually defeated person. Discussion boards and live chats allow instantaneous and live dialog and interaction. The internet browsers make a wide range of information available as a person searches for such things as the weather forcast, medical advice, calendar of events and community happenings, as well as much more that is accessible through the "Net".

The interactive aspect of the the media is what makes this "Web 2.0" a mode of communication that is highly attractive to a variety of people. We know from experience that people are not going to use that which they believe they neither want or need. So it falls on us to show people how the internet can be used to assist them in connecting to the world around them. In so doing, we enhance their lives by drawing them out of isolation and into a community.

We can draw them out of living solely for themselves, in sin or misery, by connecting them initially with ourselves and then others. Of course, the ultimate is to introduce them to Jesus and His saving grace. But first, we must remember that people don't care how much we know until they know how much we care. This too, is what Jesus taught when He invited sinners, saying, "Come now, and let us reason together."(8) He also said "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching, and build each other up by the power of the Word."(9)

One example of how the Net is being used to save the lost and comfort the hurting and build people up is found at TruthMedia.com. The latest monthly statistics from that website state that they've had 528,536 visitors view 1,157,379 pages; 3,225 people indicated spiritual decision. That's quite an impact for the benefit of those who would have been eternally lost. (10) And their ten websites are not just for people who are lost, but also for Christians who are not living in the power and grace of God. Those people who may be living defeated lives can find hope, help and prayer at AN"Y time ... and at almost any place through the dedication of volunteers and this remarkable tool of connection . . . the internet.

I've learned through my studies of New Media for Urban Change, that the new media allows for not only two-way communication with people that I may never meet physically on this earth, but also allows me to cross the ocean via my use of the Net to reach out to people in a way which encourages them to respond.

With such teaching tools as : ADDIE (analysis, design, development, implementation, and evaluation)(11); ARCS (attention, relevance, confidence, satisfaction)(12) : and learning styles of 'multiple intelligences' (visual-spacial, bodily-kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal, intrapersonal, logical-mathematic, natural)(13) , I am better equipped to send out an invitation for a successful connection. These strategies point out the importance of communicating with people in the manner in which they most readily accept and learn. For example, transformation is more likely to take place if we utilize multimedia video/audio players as the mode of delivery for a younger individual who learns through the visual domain. Whereas, he may totally "tune out" to the prospect of reading a text document or a lecture.

Jesus demonstrated how very dear knowing people is to Him. It's people, not things, that interest Him. He used parables to illustrate His truths. By presenting the main points in such a way that people truly identified with what He was saying. Likewise, we can use our newly learned techniques to "cast the net" as He tells us. By meeting the people where they are we will be able to bless them with that which the Lord has given us through His Holy Spirit. Yes, the net will be bulging, on the verge of overflow. . . Lord may it be so . . . as we follow the Lord's instructions.

People can connect without being limited by such things as physical disability, transportation, or weather. They don't have to take a shower or dress nice to connect on the Net. The problem of the addict, suicidal thinker or otherwise troubled insomniac who is afraid to pick up a telephone and wake someone up or "bother" them is greatly relieved by their ability to connect through the Net to be heard and helped. Comfort can arrive from the people of God using the internet as a method of coming alongside to lift a person up or to just listen to someone who feels misunderstood, lonely or desperate.

My own personal motto is to use what I call my five "E's". These are my purposes in life, to : EXALT the Savior, EQUIP the saints, EDIFY the Body of Christ (His Church), EXAMINE my own life, and EVANGELIZE the world. I believe that all of these mission goals are given greater impact by using the Net.

In summary, I believe it is a God-given mandate that we cast our net upon the troubled waters of the world around us. The globalization of our world through technology requires that we jump in and get our feet wet in order to save others that may be drowning in sorrow, loneliness, injustice, neglect or other manifestations of a world without the Lordship of Jesus Christ. That may mean utilizing these new media assets on the internet in order to gain their interest while helping meet their needs with the love of God and share with them the Way to find eternal salvation. END -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(1) Matthew 4:19 (NKJV)

(2) Excerpted from Matthew 28:19 (NKJV)

(3) Excerpted from Matthew 28:20 (NKJV)

(4) Galatians 5:22 (NKJV)

(5) Ephesians 4:25 (NKJV)

(6) How the World Became Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-first Century, Thomas L. Firedman, Pub: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 304pgs., April 2005.

(7) "Who Uses the Internet, What They Do, and What It Means", Lee Rainie, Freedom to Connect Conference, March 30,2005.

(8) Isaiah 1:18-20 (NKJV)

(9) Hebrews 10:25 (NKJV)

(10) "Latest Monthly Statistics", TruthMedia.com internet group, http://truthmedia.com, cited on Dec. 21, 2007.

(11) Instructional System Design (ISD): Using the ADDIE Model, Steven J. McGriff, Instructional Systems, College of Education, Penn State University, Sept. 2000.

(12) ARCS Model of Motivation, John M. Kellers (1983) excerpted from http://learn.gwumc.edu/hscidist/FRED/BuildingCommunity/index.htm (2007)

(13) Gardner's Multiple Intelligences, Howard Gardner of Harvard, http://www.tecweb.org/styles/gardner.html, Sept. 20, 2007.

The Real Christmas Story

2007-12-20T00:50:00.000-05:00

I was reminded by one of my Bible studies that even we Christians sentimentalize the Christmas story. The promised Messiah, Savior, and Lord didn't arrive in some stately fashion heralded through the halls of some pristine palace. Rather his mother Mary and earthly father Joseph traveled many miles over rough terrain to find that there was no room available to them.

So it was that the King of Kings was delivered in a dirty, smelly barnyard stable, more like a cave than all these clean wooden creches that we see displayed in the yards of Christmas Nativity Scenes of today. In some ways it is appropriate that the Spotless Lamb of God would be born like other sacrificial animals in a stable. Likewise, that this tiny babe that one day would proclaim Himself to be the Bread of Life would be laid in a feeding trough.

Truly, His humble beginnings as Immanuel (God with us) demonstrated how approachable He is. The first to hear of His birth were the lower class servants who were the shepherds whose very job it was to take care of the lambs. Can you imagine how startled they must have been when the darkness of the night was pierced by the heavenly host's great light and proclamation that they could go and see the long awaited Savior. These often forgotten about people were now the First to know; to see; to be there in person. What an honor.

Jesus Himself was from a family that was relatively poor.... born in a borrowed manger, in a foreign land, growing up in Nazareth which was known for it's less wealthy population (Jesus was from the "other side of the train tracks" or "in the Hood" ), He traveled all over talking to any-and-everyone, helping where He was needed and always teaching by example and through Scripture and life application stories. Healing all sorts of maladies, He truly Touched the leper as noone else even dared. After all of this Jesus was falsely accused, betrayed and killed as a criminal. Even in death He was buried in a borrowed grave..... which He didn't need but the 3 days... Glory!!!

When I was reminded of this it made it easier not to get so down about not having anything special to give to family and friends for Christmas. It's too bad that I can't wrap appreciation and love and willingness to do something special for people so that they'd have something to open.

Today, friend, I thank God that it is not what I can give ... rather it is what God has given. Therefore, my Christmas gift to you is this:
Do you have the Greatest Gift of All? If not, can I help you recieve it?
Merry Christmas to you and yours.

What A Day I Had!

2007-11-01T02:58:00.001-04:00

This was just one of those days. . . I had a HUGE school project that I had planned on getting done ... but my home computer has operating system problems. Then there were the financial concerns that keep the gears grinding in my problem-solving brain. After finding the hole in the fence through which the dog snuck out for a brief excursion, I finally got out of the house, although later than I wanted. I was somewhat surprised that the computer lab at the college was empty when I arrived. Then I found out why. Apparently, about half an hour before I arrived there was a big power surge that took out the internet network, the boiler wasn't working and I think the air circulation was also temporarily down. WOW! At least those lights didn't all go down as I logged onto the computer or else I just might have taken it personally. So I had to go back home to endure the ever-spinning circle thing as I impatiently waited for dial up page turns. There were numerous interruptions, phone calls and unexpected events that seemed to swallow up the time in chunks. It was one of those days where I felt like I'd been working forever and not getting much done. You know, the hours seemed to drag with the amount of effort I put in, yet the time flew when it came to evaluating how much more I had NOT gotten finished. I DID make good progress on my school project, but not as much as I'd planned. That was oh, so disappointing. Yet, as I write this blog before retiring for the night... er... morning, I have the verse from Jeremiah reverberating in my head . "I know the plans I have for you," God had control all the while. It was my focusing on my own timeline that was the source of the frustration.
Now, I am going to trust that same God to protect me from beating myself up for not getting that project into my teacher before I get to sleep. Hopefully, He will reward me with a sound couple hours of sleep that will prepare me for a better tomorrow. One in which I have wisely already surrendered to His Lordship. Peace to you.

Life's Journey - Ellen's Blog

2007-10-18T17:05:00.000-04:00

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
Psalm 119:105 (New International Version)

Okay, today I am going to embark on a new journey into the world of blogging. It's not that I am any more of a deep thinker than most people, but I do have some thoughts that are worthwhile. Besides, I believe it will help cement what I am learning. At the same time, it may actually be of some benefit to someone else who might be reading.

So If you would like... please join me on the journey!