New Website for Ellen5e

There is a new website for me that is finally up!! You can follow me now on the website Ellen5e.com.

WHAT IT WAS VS. WHAT IT IS

I have had quite a few brand new friends who I have met via newmedia and on the internet who have never heard me talk before the "ATTACK" so when they hear me speaking on the recent video clips they do not think anything about my heavy weird accent.

ASIDE: By the way the votes for "What kind of accent do you think it is?" is leaning very heavily toward French and Swedish/Norwegian. One good friend has accused me of being a Russian spy. And one of my 4H dog club kids thinks I sound British like Victoria Stillwell of dog training fame.

BEFORE To help those people who have never heard my "regular talking voice" here is a clip of me conducting an interview of an intercity ministry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JQjncoi9jc You will notice some hesitation in my speech as I am thinking of the questions off the cuff, but even a very untrained ear can tell I do not sound like the same person.

AFTER Now... compare this to my most recent little clip from last night
http://www.tokbox.com/vm/b6ae3opqguin

You hear a very noticeable difference don't you??
Friends, students and family are helping me to laugh about it, because if I don't stay light-hearted enough it will make me want to cry.

THIS IS NOT ME!!
My regular voice is gone! Instead I am having to hear these weird accents coming out of my mouth. STILL, I am extremely thankful to have any voice at all. Can you imagine it?

I have had friends call me on the phone, and then just about hang up as they say "I'm sorry, I have gotten the wrong number." I go into a quick "wait a minute! it is me, Ellen, don't hang up!" Then I must give them some kind of fact that a stranger wouldn't know, to convince them it is ME!! It IS me!!

It has now been a week and a half since the first numbness showed up, and almost as long that I have been speaking with a foreign accent. I sometimes get a bit down about the situation. No doctor has an answer about what is going on -- we just don't see any obvious signs of stroke or any bad tumor or anything on CT or MRI.

The speech therapist I saw on Wednesday was thinking maybe Bells Palsy, but some of the symptoms do not jive. I have just started finding something called "Foreign Accent Syndrome" mentioned on the web. So I will continue to research as I await my neurologist appt. on the 29th.

I praise God that He never gives us more than we can handle. I am being forced to
(1) speak funny OR (2) shut-up. Those of you who know my passion for communication (talking with people and about the Gospel) know which option of those two that I am taking.

Here are some things running through my head a lot lately:
"Be still -- and KNOW -- that I AM GOD!" --
We are fearfully and wonderfully made; tho' this is scarey it IS facinating!
I must laugh because if I take it too seriously I will cry.
How much faith do I really have?
I choose to believe that God IS in control of even this.

What do you think about this? I REALLY want to know.
I am seeking any advice, ideas or answers anyone might have.

STRENGTH FROM THE STRUGGLE

I am now back from the hospital and am continuing to have speech problems. 

Rather than write everything down... I went to Tokbox and created 4 little video mails that explains everything up to now.

I hope you will watch these so you can view how difficult it is to speak, how very different I sound right now, and because I think God is using this trial to teach many people how God uses the weak and unusual things of this world, if we let Him.

Just click on the red links to view the videos:

What Is Going On? Part 1

What Is Going On? Part 2

What Is Going On? Part 3

What Is Going On? Part 4

Now that you have seen these clips you can rejoice with me someday, when God reveals how he using this trial for His glory.

 LEARNING A LOT DURING THIS TIME:

1)  God IS in control, therefore this is happening for a reason, AND not only for my benefit, but for the benefit of others, and ultimately His glory.

2)  This speech problem may be God's 2x4 across my head - way of getting my attention about being extra careful when choosing words and speaking.

3)  A test for vanity: if I am so concerned about how I am sounding when I speak that I get so hung up on how I sound to the other person, then I would not speak at all for prideful fear of looking ridiculous.  I am learning it is more important to show that I believe my message is more important to deliver DESPITE the way it makes me look.  In this way I can communicate "I love you so very much that I will say it even if it makes me LOOK ridiculous"!

4)  Interesting FACT:  our dog Spirit obeys my verbal commands even better since I am having this speech problem. I am thinking that maybe it is like everything else; it is the "unusual" that gets our attention. Everyone else's voices sound similar. But mine is now so unusual that she can easily separate it out of the crowd of other noises in the environment ... it is much easier to filter out the racket and see what is really important. Hmmm. I think there is a good analogy there!

5)  Patience -- I don't know about you, but I want problems fixed and NOW!!  So I have been increasingly hard on myself when it comes to this mess.  I am looking at it as: "what did I do wrong?"; "when will this be over?";  "how can I make it better and faster". What can I DO??

Lesson I am learning: God is STILL in control (always has been) and if I would quit fighting Him I will be able to rest in the peace that comes with that understanding.  It is NOT about what I can or cannot do --- (all about ME syndrome) --- rather it is again that God is showing me to "be still and know that HE is God".

6)  Faith -- so this is another time of growing my faith.  I do not like it; it is uncomfortable and an inconvenience not only to me but also to my loved ones.  

CONSIDERING THE BUTTERFLY EMERGING FROM COCOON

Did you know that if you were to cut open a cocoon to help the struggling butterfly get out of it's cocoon, you would actually be doing it harm??  You see that relatively ugly, slimy, can only crawl so far in two whole days little caterpillar gets to go into one of the greatest transformations that I can think of in nature.  God transforms this worm into a beautiful flying testimony in the course of a few days. But it is in the struggling that the new butterfly does while in the midst of the cocoon that he builds up his wing strength. 

It is during the struggling that the strength is developed! Did you get that!?  If you were to feel sorry for this new butterfly and cut open it's cocoon to ease it's struggle, or allow it out sooner, even if the butterfly's wings had fully developed, they would not be strong enough for him to fly upon!!  You would only have a more beautiful worm, that LOOKS like a butterfly, but crawls around like a caterpillar.  He would be freed from his temporary struggling only to be limited by his unreached potential. How very sad!

Therefore, I am looking at my current neurological and speech trial as just a temporary time of strengthening for me as well.  God wishes to transform me into the likeness of His Son Jesus. Although, I do want to get better as soon as possible. I do NOT want let out of the cocoon one second too early.  I don't only want to look like Him, but also be able to have the required strength to act like Him. 

If you were blessed by this posting I would love for you to leave a comment. Thanks and may God bless you!

Sensitivity and Numbness.

It is interesting that God seems to be using "numbness" to teach me "sensitivity".
Sensitivity to His plans being more important than mine. Submission and asking for advise and help must be used when my own decisions are unpredictable.

My family and close friends know that I've been having greater word finding problems as well as poor decision making, memory, org. skills. Now it has escalated to include some other problems that I can't ignore as being a flare up of Chronic Fatigue.

Yesterday, fatigue was horrible, severe headache and then 4:30ish numbness in lips and rt. side of face, stiffness in neck increased and went from just numbness/tingling thick feeling to sometimes burning.

This morning, I woke up to spreading of numbness down my rt arm.
RATS! God really wants my attention here I think.

I've just finished wrestling with myself to submit to God's plan of not relying on my own understanding, which is clearly failing when decision making is so cruddy. I sought outside advise. It actually looks like I'm going to have to do the unthinkable and forego my fun plans for this glorious sunny day to plant and do gardening with my daughter. I was really looking forward to that more than you know. Instead wisdom says I need to go to ER.

I'm pretty bummed about that, but it is the "right" thing to do. I must be able to rule out stroke vs. just some kind of pinched or inflamed nerves. My family dr. said it's up to me whether I go into ER or not! Thanks for no help there Doc. Seriously, he said he couldn't diagnose over the phone, but nurse recommends that since its involving mental stuff, probably not just a pinched nerve. So she suggests I go ahead and go into the ER.

Other friend said better go in cuz no matter what, something is definitely wrong..

So I must forgo one of my favorite activities to go sit for hours in ER. Grrr!
Please pray for the situation. Tho' I'm not happy about this, I can do nothing but what I believe to be right and trust that I am in God's loving care no matter what.

My Title of this blog post is a great start off for a spiritual illustration that is brewing in my mind, but I am afraid that it will have to wait; I'm going to the ER now.

Mother's Day Blessings of Love

I believe that this is the perfect addition to the blog for today. In honor of all mothers:
I Love You Forever as read by the author Richard Munsch.

A very special HAPPY MOTHERS Day to not only those who ARE mothers, but all of us who HAVE or HAD mothers. This story is narrated by the author himself. Enjoy.

A Special Note to MY mother: "Happy Mother's Day MOM! You not only gave birth to me that I may live, but pointed the way to my 2nd birth that I may live eternally!! Love you forever Mom!"

On My Knees

My friends and followers may have noticed that I've not been as
social online over the last week. Why? Lots of reasons, but primarily, high demands of many different projects all coming due at the same time. There were the annual stage props for a production at Madame Walker theatre which my husband and I cranked out in record time. There were additional practices for our band as we performed a benefit fundraiser for some abused kids to be able to go to a Christian summer camp. Finally, there was all the paperwork and organization of a record number of members in our Warren Waggers 4-H Dog club of which I am leader.

All of these activities are a joy to me. However, they all came together at a time where they acted as a kind of "perfect storm" of stress at a time when my Chronic pain and Chronic Fatigue decided to ravage my poor body.

There were many days of zombie-like walking and "what was I just doing?" I'm still not at my normal level of functionality, however I am better than I have been in the last few weeks. So that is why I am up at 12:45 a.m. catching up on blogging and some other postings.

Today was a wonderful day! I have all those big projects behind me so I could insert my thankfulness to God into my prayers that lasted longer today. I spent a LOT more time 'on my knees' today since it was the National Day of Prayer. Though President O'bama did not call attention to it, as our previous U.S. President had, I did remember to make it a priority on my schedule of events for the day.

I am concerned for our nation; if we don't remember to turn to God, how will we know in which direction we should go to receive His blessing? I prayed for our leaders, our communities and especially our families. Even tho' this particular day of emphasis on prayer comes only once a year, I am thankful for the opportunity it has given me to renew my fervency for prayer.

Our Lord promised in His Word that if we will turn to Him, He will turn toward us and He will heal our land. Though it seems odd, I am thankful for the season of weakness that I've had to endure. It allows me to truly acknowledge that through my weakness I am made strong. Like the Apostle Paul, God has seen fit to not remove "the thorn in my flesh" (as Paul called it) even though I've prayed for it. Like Paul, I may have taken pride in what "I" accomplished in my own power. This way, I KNOW that ALL my power comes from Him, because I truly am a weak vessel that feels so very weak that I might implode or vaporize with a gentle wind.

So tonight, right before I go to bed, I will once again go down on my knees. After all, that is where I can acknowledge that I never did have the control that I wanted. Even more importantly, it is when I feel most out of control that I can rest assured that my awesome God always was, always will be, and IS in control. Now that's peace!!

A Chance to Win a Pocket Video Camera

I was given a nice bit of information today. So in all fairness, I am turning around and sharing that free information with you. Here is a chance to win a great little piece of technology. Check it out at Creative. The actual contest can be seen at one of the blogs I follow called AsTheyGrowUp. These are good examples of how web2.0 can get news out about people and products. Good luck to us all!

Image of VadoTM Pocket Video Camera from Creative Website link.

Update: 2 Arrested in Car Crash

Local television stations are reporting more details about last night's crash. James Hopkins, 21 of Indianapolis, and a female passenger were arrested for the incident. They reported that they had been carjacked. This is also what I had heard first from his mother when she spoke with me last night across from scene. WTHR news is reporting that the story they told appears to be not exactly true.

As it turns out, Mr. Hopkins should not have been out driving at all because he was under house arrest. Though I have yet to see the scene in the daylight, the reports are saying that a bush, a pine tree and a gas meter were the major damages done by the vehicle. The house was spared from major damage and no injuries were reported.

Car Crashes Into House

BREAKING NEWS -- Indianapolis Eastside....
in the 7200 block of Pleasant Run Parkway. VERY near where I live. At about 10:30 p.m. I noticed some flashing lights of emergency vehicles in our backyard and apparently very near the front of a neighbor who has a child with health concerns. From the upstairs bathroom I had a better view as I noticed the two fire trucks, and rescue vehicle were moving slowly down the block. This didn't make sense. They had appeared to be in front of one house for quite a while, but now they were moving! So it couldn't be a fire or home rescue.

The other odd thing, along with the policemen who were arriving, there must have been a dozen or so neighbors milling about. Standing at the edges of their lawns, sidewalks or drives and looking up and down the street. There were several people shining flashlights along the side of the road, sidewalk and into some lawn edges. From where I stood, I could see one neighbor and he son paying quite a bit of attention to something large lying in the road near the far curb. But it was too dark to see very well, I could just make out it's size from the flashlights beams dancing across it. Several different people acknowledged this thing lying in the street but kept a respectful distance from it. What was it? Was that a body?

Since the neighbor and his son were going over to the house of my newer neighbor friends, I decided that a real investigation was in order. I put on my shoes and headed to David and Ann's house (not their real names).

This is what I discovered:
David and Ann had been watching T.V. in their living room when they heard a racing car and a very loud "BOOM". Ann said that it sounded like a blowing transformer only multiple times louder like an explosion. They both jumped up out of their chairs and ran through their front door that was only about 10 feet from the couch. As they emerged out onto their front yard they could see the car it had come to crash into a house at the other end of the block!!

See the satellite photo with markers: 

Neighborhood Crash Map
Originally uploaded by Ellen5e

This is what is surmised at this time: (see the photo with numbers)

[1] The boulder rock at the edge of David and Ann's front yard was struck by the speeding car which was reportedly driven by a young man with a young woman. Although David and Ann did not see the young people, someone reportedly saw them run from the scene. 

Left in the Lawn
Originally uploaded by Ellen5e

[2] There was a piece of the car at the edge of their yard (it looks like a piece of bumper or undercarriage). David and Ann's boulder rock was yards east and across the road near the far curb [3]. It was this boulder that I had seen from the distance lying in the road.

As I walked with my camera along the north sidewalk, I noticed a good deal of wire that appeared to be either telephone wiring or some kind of cable broken and lying along almost the entire walkway as I went down to where the police activity was happening at the far end of the block. There was a teal colored car [4] with its passenger front end crashed into the brick of a house where a state trouper lives!

I stayed on the far side of the road and took a few photos though it was dark and rainy and my camera is not of professional quality. I did my best to hopefully document some neighborhood news. As I was taking photos Channel 13 local TV news trucks were arriving and setting up. I could smell the faint odor of gas and there was a gas utility truck in the area, but there appeared to be no real danger.

As I was body-tripodding my camera shots, another car drove up and the gray headed woman started talking with me. She said that this crashed car was her son's. He was at his apartment right now and told her that he had been hit on the head and someone took off with his car. She asked me if it would be able to be driven away. I told her, that it looked too smashed into the house to be able to drive. She got a cell phone call and started to get into her car, so I ran to the group of officers saying "officer, quickly, that lady over there says she is the driver's mother and she's getting ready to take off." Two officers went straight to her, and another listened to what I had to report. He chuckled when I repeated the part about the son claiming to be hit over the head. "I am sure that's not the first time you've heard that one," I said to him, as he laughed and nodded.

I then asked that officer if I might get some closer photos. He then asked if I were a reporter. I said that I do some neighborhood reporting with IndyChristian.com but that I live nearby and just want to get a few pictures. He told me that since any photo I took may be evidence he didn't want me taking any more photos. I told him that I would gladly hand over anything I took, but sadly I would comply.

Luckily, I had already taken some photos, though the darkness and all the lights reflecting off the rain hindered my photographic abilities. At least I have a couple of shots to prove that I was there. Maybe I'll even scoop the Indianapolis Star. LOL

These unusual events in our neighborhood brought to mind how very important it is to stay in touch with your neighbors. God tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves. I was truly concerned for the safety of not just my own family, but many of the others who live around me. It was refreshing to see, that even as people were settling down for sleep, they came out of their homes and checked on one another. At a time when many news venues report on the selfishness and hardness of so many people, it was heartening to witness people in my neighborhood who haven't forgot how to be neighborly.

Neighborhood Makeover

INDIANAPOLIS: As many of you are aware, ABC's Extreme Home Makeover is in town this week to build a home for a local teacher Bernard McFarland (click here for previous article by IndyChristian ). Consequently there has been a reawakening to the idea of neighbors helping neighbors to better our community.

(photo from WRTV; link is below)
It seems peculiar to me that it so often takes a force from outside the community to come in to motivate people to help each other right here. So many local vendors and businesses are donating materials. Those resources and the volunteers were here all the time. It just took the spark of a national TV show to fan the flame of community action? Why is that?

Hoosiers are known for their "Hoosier Hospitality," yet I have to admit that sometimes I don't understand why it is that it is so hard for people to treat their neighbors as well as they treat visitors.

Though, I still don't understand why this is, it reminds me of what Jesus says in the Bible about a prophet not being as well received in his own home town as he is elsewhere: Luke 4:24 (New American Standard Bible)"And He said, "Truly I say to you,no prophet is welcome in his hometown." Perhaps we are simply so accustomed to the status quo that it takes outside inertia to get us to become fully aware of what is already all around us.

Do we believe that we are simply "too busy" to take a little time to get familiar with our neighbors? We may have become so focused on striving for the "newest, greatest and best," that we become blinded to the needs of others. People may think they don't have enough time or money to offer to help others. How do we know unless we at least endeavor to find out? So often, what seems as a very trivial thing to us, means the world to someone else.

By being thankful for the many blessings that we already have, we can see that we DO have something to offer. We can make an impact on the world around us... and not just the physical environment either. More importantly, we can show people that we value them; each and every person matters.

So, while Indianapolis is all abuzz with the happenings of a national TV show taping in our midst, I want to encourage you... that is you reading this article... to keep the ball rolling. Those of you who have tried volunteering or seen for the first time how very much can be accomplished when people work together for good, be encouraged. See what a mighty thing can happen when we come together in love and caring for others.

Practical application: some thoughts on how to makeover the neighborhood.

1. Take a Walk. So many of us are bustling from here to there by car, or bus, barely making it to our destinations on time, that we do not "stop and smell the roses." Have you considered taking a walk with your family after supper? Make a game of it by asking the kids to see how many people they can get to smile or wave back at you, how many dogs bark as you pass, take a few trash bags and collect litter as you go, etc.

2. Get to know your neighbors. How many different neighbors could you tell me about right now? What do you really know about them: kids, pets, career, school, church, or are they a gardener, might they pair up with you for exercise class or walking or like to golf?

3. Ask Questions. How have you been? Is there anything I can do to help? How can I pray for you? Would you like to join us for a bar-b-que Saturday afternoon?

4. Just be available. Everyone needs to feel valued and you can help that happen for someone. By simply flashing someone a smile or wave, you have acknowledged them, and done something of value yourself. How cool is that? By saying something like, "I am going to the store, do you want me to pick anything up for you? I am going to be there anyway," you have let the other person know that you are happy to be of service to them.

You see, it doesn't really take much to makeover our neighborhood. Let us not rely on outside forces to bring to our attention that we have within us the ability to make our community a better place to live. May God spur our hearts into action by helping us be more aware of those around us and any needs that we may help meet.

You can follow updates of Twitter: EstridgeHomes
Here is a link to the local ABC News affiliate WRTV Ch.6

What's Your Favorite Color?

The question of the week from a friend is
"what does your favorite color say about you?" My answer is PURPLE. That is my favorite color. A deep royal purple along with a vibrant fuschia are my very favorite colors.

I don't know what it really says about me. I know that many people feel that purple is the color of royalty, but I don't consider myself to be especially aristocratic or even comfortable with snobbery.

I do think it is interesting that purple is made from the combination of red and blue. Ever since I can remember I have been artistically interested in the way in which colors are made. Red is a hot color and blue a cool one, so if you mix the two you get this lovely "I can be both! " That is one way of looking at it I suppose.

Purple is found in grapes, beautiful mountain scenery, and the crocus flowers which emerge from the still falling snow to testify to the promise that Spring is not far away. Amathyst is a purple stone that is assigned to my February birth month. A deep purple velvet shows off sparkling jewelry like brilliant stars against a God's velvety night sky. Purple can be soothing like lavender or bold like a banner.

Yes, purple is my favorite color and I think it says that I am flexible. Neither the hot-tempered demanding red, or apathetic cold blue... I am understanding and approachable; a caring, passionate purple : )

How's that for an answer JoJo? If you are reading this, will you please comment on what is your favorite color and what does it say about you?

Heaven's New Tenant

Today I learned of a dear friends sudden homegoing. Although we are both strong Christian sisters, I find it very difficult to do other work today. Therefore, I write this blog entry in her memory.

Okay... so the tears are flowing! I feel the sorrow of knowing I won't hear "you look like such a cute little ol'baby doll" in that sweet southern drawl when we speak together at the UBCafe every Saturday. I cry in remembrance as I am hearing her voice, feeling her soft "Palmolive" dish-washing hands, and teasing her to smile for the camera.

Marie was one of the reason's I enjoyed going to the Unleavened Bread Cafe for Ask Anything Saturday ministry. I could get pretty busy doing things with other people, but would never miss the opportunity to connect with her each time.

Since Ms. Marie was the main dishwasher at the UBCafe, I would sometimes take my dishes straight back to where she was working behind the kitchen. Then I could hug her from the back while she was elbow deep in dishwater. She would flash me that beautiful smile that she hid from the camera. Yes, the ivories were crooked, but they were as bright as diamonds, and I regret having not been able to catch that genuine smile on film.

Ms. Marie could be a playful imp from time to time. I know that one of our favorite "games" was trying to keep Neil Cox's half-emptied coffee cup from being escorted back to the dishroom along with other dirty dishes that Marie collected. She made us laugh when she got into that "you better not turn your back or that dish is 'mine'" mood.

I sure am going to miss my beloved Miss Marie... the hole in my selfish heart is oozing pain. Evenso, I rejoice to know that my sweet Miss Marie is going to be there to party with me in the sky when the trump sounds and we meet our Savior in the air along with all the other saints! And we will be singing praises to our LORD and Savior forever, and ever. AMEN!

Mayor delivers State of the City Address

On Saturday, February 21st, Mayor Greg Ballard delivered his State of the City address at Christel House Academy on Indianapolis' south side. Despite the blustery snowfall outside, there appeared to be approximately four hundred people assembled in the charter school's gymnasium to hear what the mayor had to report.

Click here for additional photos of the event

Birthday with friend Henry Lee Summers

Henry Lee Summers poses with me on my birthday Friday, Feb. 20th). Steve and I went to Gallagher's 2 on Indy's southside for pizza and listening to their band play!

Henry Lee Summers and I became friends in Spring 2007 when in some classes together. I didn't know who he was until AFTER he helped me with some guitar chords. THEN, we joked around, sang/played a lot between classes... guitar, keyboards, singing...good times.

It was my birthday, so we went to Gallagher's 2 on Indy's southside for pizza and listening to their Henry Lee Summers and the Alligator Brothers play.

When not playing with Henry Lee, on their own, the band is known as SoulShine - Brian Baker (Far Left.:former national touring guitarist), Henry Lee Summer (middle front) and Charlie Bushor (middle back, former drummer for The Why Store, MCA Records) Rhonda Baker (lead singer/keyboards) and Greg Baker (Bass, far Right).

Fire Burning Love

My friend Gabe voiced his concerns about some of the larger Christian organizations of the nation drawing large crowds with uber-celebrity type people. Also, the idea that maybe too much time was being spent on being a good "leader". This made me think of a worldly, success-based motivation behind the meetings. So I understood Gabe's frustration. To view Gabe's original post, click here. The following is my response:

Hmmm... Gabe Dear... me thinks that you are noticing the trend of many "Christian" organizations, churches included (sadly) that are taking the eyes off of the flame of the candle in an effort to reinvent the candle stick. What 'style' is the most attractive," becomes more widely discussed than "do we need to trim the wick," or "is the wind so turbulent as to endanger blowing out the flame?" Worse yet, in my opinion, is how we can get so caught up in the externals that we 'douse the flame' with an unloving or cynical attitude toward those that are different from ourselves.

Maybe we are not even striking the match, quenching the Spirit when we do not follow the Spirit's leading to take the initiative and speak out or otherwise demonstrate God's hand at work in the lives of others. It might be too uncomfortable or embarrassing for us to knock on a door or pose a question. What might they think of us? That sounds a bit like that old fire-extinguisher 'Pride' trying to get rid of the flame of Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.


"BURN ON," I say! And how can I keep that flame burning brightly if I don't keep it stoked with the Word of God! God's Word is my delight... like honey..."YOUR WORD is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path," Ps. 119:105, If I am to let my "light so shine before men" from a hilltop and not under a basket, I believe that I must daily keep in close communion with God.

As I draw closer to Him, THEN I will naturally have a testimony flow from that. "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, THEN all these things will be added. . .". What makes me a better 'leader' is that I train myself to be a better "follower." It goes against our sinful, selfish nature, but, Jesus Himself spoke of the need for us to serve others. At the time He was saying it, He was washing His disciples feet. So who am I following? God or man? Now, THAT is the question.

All the fire references that have popped up in this comment are as a result of my having just re-listened to "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads. I associate my passion of following God and being filled with the Holy Spirit with the visual image and analogy of fire. And that song popped into my head.

So I went and looked at the lyrics. Some of the words in that song speak to personal agenda getting in the way. . . is my house in order... am I trying to do things my own way with the latest and greatest techniques.. getting all worked up into a frenzy and then burning my own house down in an inferno. Thanks, but no thanks.

Give me the comfort of knowing that God's fire is at the center of my home, bringing warmth and comfort to my family and friends, as well as any strangers who chose to partake in hospitality. As long as the fire is contained properly in the firebox beneath the mantle... as long as I adhere to what I know to be the correct way to handle and care for the fire, I have nothing to fear. By simply doing what I have learned to be correct I am able to be protected from the winter chill, AND rejoice in sharing that warmth with others. Link to Burning Down the House Lyrics by Talking Heads
Link to Burning Down the House Song

Yes, it is cold outside. But, we have been given a wonderful fire in our home. Would you like to come in and join us?

The Internet Mission Field

Though it may not be what first what comes to mind as an evangelical mission field, the Internet has proven to be one of the biggest mission fields that is ripe and ready for harvest, that can be reached without gathering up monetary support.

I have been blessed to have been able to complete a course at Crossroads Bible College of Indianapolis which was entitled "New Media for Urban Change". This was an innovative course in which students were introduced to "the Digital Divide", methods in which people learn and are taught, as well as utilizing the ever-expanding tools on the World Wide Web.

Technology is reaching out to us across the internet with many tools and programs that are Open Source (available for free) which allow us to, in turn, reach out to others with the Gospel of Jesus Christ!!

My course instructors Pastor Bryan Hudson, Hosea Baxter of Crossroads Bible College, and Neil Cox did an excellent job of awakening the "monster" inside of me. I mean monster, in a good way, as I was devouring all that they taught and actually applying it as we went.

Today I came across an article written by Dan Henrich called "Internet Evangelism for the 21st Century." If all goes well you can view by clicking HERE.

It has now become easier for me to reach others for Christ while not being so limited by physical limitations. The time of day, physical location of the other party/parties are not even a problem in us growing each other in Christ, IF... and here's the big one, IF we both have a computer and access to the internet.

As computer technology continues to progress to the point where many people are carrying around mini computers in their hands, I believe the access to devices will finally become more accessible. Likewise, the costs of obtaining a computer/device will go down and then to, the free use stations at libraries and many internet cafes will allow even the poorer of the society to take part.

That is why I so enjoy being an active member of Ask Anything Saturdays which takes place at the Unleavened Bread Cafe at the corner of 30th and Central, in downtown Indianapolis. Here, just anyone can come into the cafe for some good breakfast and on Saturdays (between 10 am and 1 pm) I and a few other community servants, will help people with finding out whatever they want to know by using the internet.

We help people who are afraid of the computer, but must use one to apply for a job or set up an e-mail account. We introduce people to the internet and the many tools available online for free. And, most importantly of all, we introduce strangers to the Lord Jesus Christ or lift up the brothers and sisters of the body who need encouragement and prayer as well as some hands-on assistance.

Question of the Week: What's your mission?

A new friend of mine is inspiring me to blog more. She has challenged me with a question of the week to take place on Mondays. So here is the first one. "What is your mission?"

I am going to answer that for myself, sharing it with you on this blog, then ask you to either comment with your own answer or giving a link to the answer on your blog. This exercise should challenge our minds and our motivations, while allowing us to share our life experiences and lessons for the benefit of all.

For me, personally, my "Mission" is to become a more Godly woman while sharing the love of God with others. It is a mission of eternal importance. That translates into my NEW IDENTITY ... I have an internet and missionary identity of Ellen5e.

That's it "Ellen(five)'E'". Ellen is my birth given name. The Five 'E's are what God has revealed to me as key to what I am to focus on while using my God-given talents of communication through art, music, photography, word and deed.


The Five E's are:
1) EXALT God -- worshiping, praising, proclaiming God's goodness
2) EQUIP the Saints -- study the Word, full armor of God, learn new skills & pass on what I learn
3) EDIFY the Body -- help fulfill needs, build up and encourage
4) EXAMINE myself -- strive to keep myself in line with God's plan
5) EVANGELIZE the World -- take the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the World.

So I use these five "E"s to gauge whether I am making the best use of my time. It's sort of like a shortcut to help me remember what I believe are the goals of my earthly mission.

Well, that's my "mission". Now, would you be kind enough to share your mission with me? I'd really enjoy hearing what drives you forward.

That is your mission, should you choose to accept it! This message may self destruct in ten seconds... nine... eight ....

Winter Wonders

We are definitely in the throws of winter now. Twelve and a half inches fell on Indianapolis' far eastside on Tuesday into Wednesday. I don't know for sure, but I think we received more snow in that twenty four hours than we did all of last winter!

The snow was pretty to look at, but quite a chore to deal with. I shoveled one of our two driveways, the front walk to the house and the sidewalk next to the street, only to have it blow and snow it to the point where it looked as though I hadn't done anything.

This first photo is of our lamp post in the front yard. With all the snow it reminds me a bit of the Lamp post in the Chronicles of Narnia.

Even better was the view of our picnic table on the back deck. Heaped up with pure mounds of snow I couldn't help but ask "Picnic anyone?" and "Now, where's that grill?"

OH DEER!! Here is a photo of a deer that I captured with my camera. She was all nestled into a thicket near Coffee Creek in Chesterton, Indiana. After we went to church, she was lying in an area where we had spotted her standing earlier.

As of this posting, there are still several thousand homes without electricity due to heavy ice damage in southern Indiana. I am so thankful that we didn't have that mess. Kentucky has so many trees and power lines down that utility people are coming in from other states to help get them back up and running.

Here at home, I am thanking God that we have heat and no tree damage. Only 42 more days 'til Spring!! But then, who's counting . . . I AM!!

NEW YEAR --- can I start over?

Do you remember the times when you were a kid and things weren't going your way (especially if it was while you were learning the rules of a new game at recess) and you would look to the teacher with puppy-dog eyes and say "can I have a Do-Over please"?

There have been many, many twists and turns in the month of December 2008 for me and my family. So, here at the very beginning of 2009 I would like a Do-Over.


I'd like to just start fresh with a clean slate from square One.

IF it were possible this is what I'd do:
-- erase ALL of my email inbox right now without reading any of it. Just tell my friends to resend anything that is important.
-- take all the post-it stickies all over my desk office and spilling out into other areas of the home and miraculously have the info on them stored where it should be or thrown away!
-- have a very trusted friend come into my home and help me blast through the piles of receipts and papers and files and throw out all of it except the "important" (defined by taxes, medical, assets). Now that I think about it...it might take more like a group of friends... but they'd need to know what they're doing, 'cuz Lord Knows, I don't.
-- tear up my Social Security Card and recreate my identity. Start with fresh credit records, medical records and all the other "Past", so I could have it stop dragging me back into the past.

I really think it would be funny if someone stole MY identity... they wouldn't know what they were getting into. They certainly couldn't go out and ruin my credit... we don't use credit cards and there are so many medical bills that they would receive instant justice when all those bills came to them!

Do you remember that pop song [Talking Heads "Once In a Lifetime"] where the guy wakes up in Hollywood and he asks himself "Well... How did I get here? " Well, that is what is running through my mind right now. HOW did I get here? One major life twist after another. Especially as it pertains to health issues, my time up until now has been chaotic when it comes to keeping things filed away in an organizational manner. On top of that the papers just keep comin' in.

I don't really make a list of New Year's Resolutions because I know that it is beyond anything that I can do apart from God's power. Rather I do reflect and see where I can improve in the upcoming year. One of my top priorities for 2009... get out from under the paper mountain and stop some of the inflow of more paper... UNLESS or course it's the green variety with the numbers on it. Making money using my skills is also at the top of my list.

I'd say "wish me luck," but I really don't need that. However, if you want to pray for my discernment of doing that which is right and obedient as I learn to sort this all out... please do.